Weekly Reckoning: Yearly Reckoning Edition

weekly-reckoningWhat up, people of Internet? It’s 5:30 a.m. (as of this writing), my insomnia’s doing great and I’m feeling just a little punchy. I think it’s all the fatigue toxins goosing my synapses. So let’s proceed right into my Yearly Reckoning, in which I dump out some random opinions on your unsuspecting boots. In current news, another Malaysian plane has gone missing: AirAsia QZ8501 has vanished in heavy weather between Singapore and Indonesia with 192 passengers on board. Cue the satellite hunters and conspiracy mongers.

1. HEY, ARE YOU GUYS JUST GOING AROUND SHOOTING UNARMED BLACK PEOPLE? This appears to be the question that America finally asked its police forces in 2014, after decades of this sort of thing happening. From Michael Brown to Eric Garner and beyond, it seems that the American public is unwilling to accept the status quo in which young, unarmed black men can be shot on the street and left in the sun like modern versions of lynching victims. Meanwhile, the NYPD might want to think about what it stands to lose by pulling stunts like turning its collective back on Mayor de Blasio.

2. HEY, WHO’S KILLING INDIGENOUS WOMEN? This appears to be a question that the Harper government is still unwilling to answer, because as far as our Skinwalker-in-Chief is concerned, indigenous Canadians aren’t real people and may be dismissed if he shakes his head hard enough. Of course, he’s terrified of shaking his head lest his human face come flying off in public.

3. ACTUALLY IT’S ABOUT ETHICS IN GAMING JOURNALISM By far the most pathetic and embarrassing story of the year: Gamergate, a crusade of misogynistic basement dwellers dedicated to ensuring that women don’t make games and that games aren’t made with women in mind, because nothing’s more unethical than diversity or inclusion or catering to the actual gaming market.

4. POPE FRANCIS, YOU SO COOL Pope Francis continues to make good on his image as a reformer with a wingdangdoo of an address to the Holy See. In a blistering speech, he laid out the ailments plaguing the Catholic Church hierarchy, including “spiritual Alzheimer’s.” He also singles out “working too hard” as a problem, which, good thinking. Francis also promised to bring financial reform to the Vatican, which will probably win him few friends among the Church bureaucracy.

5. BEST THINGS OF 2014

BEST TV OF 2014 Yes, yes, give me your True Detectives, your Hannibals and your Fargos – all of which were excellent, excellent television. But I’m going to propose a few alternates: the hilarious squalor of Broad City, a dirty weed-fogged riff on Girls; Rick and Morty, a deranged stack of inventive madness from Community creator Dan Harmon; and The Affair, which started off as a minutely observed character drama about infidelity and devolved into a fantastically trashy soap opera in only ten episodes. Oh, and from The CW, there’s The Flash, which is the most fun you can have watching a man run fast in red tights, and The 100, which began life as Post-Apocalyptic Hot Teen Soap Opera and is now a frantically paced game of escalating stakes between ridiculously good-looking people on a devastated future Earth. What’s not to like?

BEST MOVIES OF 2014 So many excellent films this year. Under The Skin. The Lego Movie. Boyhood (probably). The BabadookSnowpiercer, except for the overlong ending. Guardians of the Galaxy. Two Days One Night. And more. Definitely not The Equalizer, unless “Denzel Washington killing randos with home & garden supplies” is the new criterion for great cinema.

DUMBEST MOVIES OF 2014 THAT PEOPLE THINK ARE GOOD BUT THEY’RE NOT Freaking Gone Girl. It’s ridiculous. Okay? And with apologies to Jorge, Interstellar is a movie about a guy who sails beyond the stars to spy on his teenage daughter. It’s creepy. People eat corn, they cry in space and it’s creepy.

BEST SPORTS OF 2014 Over Christmas I watched a lot of football at the in-laws. Then I went to my parents’ and watched an imperial ton of soccer. That was my sports for the whole year, and it was fantastic. I can’t wait for Xmas 2015.

BEST MUSICS OF 2014 Lots of people have opinions, but mine is the one that counts here. LP1 from FKA Twigs, whom I can only describe as an erotic trip-hop anxiety performance artist, is the best thing to hit my ears this year. D’Angelo’s Black Messiah is indisputably great, but you can’t shake my heart. Don’t go shaking it. To give you a sense of what to expect, as Greg Beatty might say, here’s the single “Two Weeks.” Lyrics are a trifle NSFW, but phrases like “higher than a motherfucker” never sounded so sweet and lyrical.

 

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.

9 thoughts on “Weekly Reckoning: Yearly Reckoning Edition”

  1. Filling out benefits forms to get money back on my massages, and switching my investment portfolio from Airmiles to Aeroplan was the most fun I had in 2014. I earned 44,000+ Aeroplan miles in 2014 (all without welcome Miles)…almost enough for two free RT flights anywhere in North America. It was an amazing year – I don’t think I can ever top it. I don’t even want to. I, however, did not manage to use my $20 gift certificate to Henry’s, which I got last Christmas, which says a lot about my sad and precipitous in mid-day carousing, but thankfully, it does not expire. Here’s to a free lunch in 2015.

    As for Birdman, did it even ever play here?? If so, when? And Two Days One Night? RPL in March 2015 maybe? And where is Wild?

  2. BTW to paraphrase Jack Nicholson, this century needs an enema. You could literally take the first 14 (official) years of the 21st and flush them down the toilet. Like cow paddies blooming over the toxic waste dumps of the 20th century. I think 2015 may be a turnaround.

  3. That sucks Birdman didn’t play Regina (I just moved to Victoria). It’s definitely worth checking out and doesn’t really require a bigscreen although the cinematography is mesmerizing nonetheless.

  4. Birdman also played at The Southland Cinemas for a brief time. It was well done and entertaining, especially compared to so much of the dreck out there these days.

    I also quite enjoyed The Grand Budapest Hotel earlier this year, and I’m sure it will make many of the Best of 2014 lists.

    Guardians of the Galaxy was another favourite of mine — won’t admit how many times I’ve seen it . . . . . so far!

  5. Grand Budapest Hotel is Wes Anderson’s magnum opus (I hope everyone’s not tired of hearing that word).

  6. From my 2014 experiences.
    Best TV show – The Blacklist – Love James Spader!
    Best Movie – The Fault in Our Stars – Tragic yeah….heartwarming…you bet!
    Worst Movie – Interstellar because it’s too damn long. Also has a bad 2001 Space Odyssey feel to it. There are worse cheesy movies like 22 Jump Street.
    Best Sports of 2014 – The Winter Olympics!
    Best Music of 2014 – no real winners….any feel good songs I’ll give thumbs up.

    Harper aka Chief Skinwalker? Ouch!

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