Welcome to the first Weekly Reckoning with a 100% Ontological Guarantee. No matter what else may happen, this blog post exists. I think. Therefore it is.weekly-reckoning

1. LET US COMPARE ATROCITIES What happens when adult women bring allegations of sexual assault against a famous CBC radio personality? We know how that goes. How about when 45 Aboriginal youth come forth with stories of sexual abuse at the hands of a prominent Canadian sports figure? That seems to be going differently (hint: no one cares).

2. HEEEERE’S HILARY! Hilary Rodham Clinton for President, y’all! If she ends up running against Jeb Bush, it’ll be like a funhouse nightmare version of the early ’90s, except with resource scarcity and the sobering memory of 9/11 and all that.

3. CHECK YOUR STREET OXY, FOLKS Regina police are warning the public that the baggie of OxyContin pills you bought from some rando in the park may be counterfeit. They are described as having the number “80” stamped on one side and “CDN” on the obverse. Will these fake Oxys give you the amazing high that the real thing provides? Or will you die like a side character from The Wire? Only one way to find out! Which I do not recommend.

4. THE DIFFERENCE It can seem to men that the increased imagery of well-turned male bodies in the media is an indicator that men are becoming the victims of sexual objectification in the same way that women historically have been. Barbara Ellen explains persuasively why this isn’t so.

5. A GAME OF THRONES MOMENT Game of Thrones returns tonight for another lurid, bloody season of trashy entertainment masquerading as televisual art. Here’s a video recap of the most horrible, grotesque deaths from the past four seasons. It’s a sword choppingly, crossbow shootingly, head squishingly good time.