Editor’s note: the following post contains ripe language and offensive imagery. Seriously it’s really bad. You shouldn’t read it.

Oh for eff’s sake. From the stupidest fucking article I’ve ever read in The Globe and Mail:

Only Stephen Harper and the Conservative Party have shown the leadership, the bullheadedness (let’s call it what it is) and the discipline this country needs. He has built the Conservatives into arguably the only truly national party, and during his five years in office has demonstrated strength of character, resolve and a desire to reform. Canadians take Mr. Harper’s successful stewardship of the economy for granted, which is high praise. He has not been the scary character portrayed by the opposition; with some exceptions, his government has been moderate and pragmatic.

“Moderate and pragmatic”????????? I’m flabbergasted.

This come-stain of an editorial was spurted-out by the editors of Canada’s paper of record, not some dumbass redneck religious fundamentalist from Dumbolt who lost his virginity to a cow’s nostril.

I have sympathy for ignorant, cattle-molesting dolts who were deprived of healthy socialization and competent education because mom and dad used barn-based schoolin’ to teachify junior about cipherin’ and Jesus’ pet “dina-sars.” But for the Cognac-quaffing weasels running The Globe? I don’t think so. What a bunch of jerks.

What kind of cocaine and pill combo produces writing like this? Don’t the Globe’s editors know that Stephen Harper’s government has a zero-tolerance approach to drug use?

My god, the Conservatives spend five years stonewalling reporters and treating the media–including Globe And Mail journos, no doubt–with contempt and The Globe and Mail endorses them? Endorses the political party that’s writhing with religious kooks, misogynists, homophobes, anti-science freaks, red-scare paranoiacs and scandal monkeys, and The Globe And Mail’s editors think they should be given the keys to Canada again?

Are they insane?

What is it about the Conservatives that appeals to G&M‘s simpering, sniveling editors? Is it the Tories’ unsurpassed skill at engineering structural deficits that can be used to legitimize assaults on social programs? The military boosterism–F-35s are a stand-in for aging, bitter editors’ diminished members? Was it the trashing of Toronto with an incompetently-run G20 summit (“we’ll show those young hipsters!”)? The holy-roller-endorsed approaches to what charities and events get funded and what don’t? The childish “lock ’em all up” attitudes towards crime? The complete antipathy to environmental vandalism?

The incoherent drug policy? The hostility and contempt for scientists and academics? Invites to secret sorority blowjob parties? What?

Are the Globe’s editor’s a pack of cocktail-circuit hyenas looking for affirmation and meat scraps from the most mean-spirited and arrogant Canadian political party of the last 20 years? Are they sleazy, grasping, avaricious, venomous quislings on the lookout for their next prestigious perk or appointment?

Is this calculated sucking-up? Or are they just fucking demented?

Are the Globe’s editors even paying attention to the alarmed reporting on this government in their own damn newspaper over the past half-decade?

This editorial is the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever read in The Globe and Mail. It’s a real “fuck you” to those of us who accurately see Stephen Harper’s Conservatives as a dangerous band of lunatics bent on warping the character of this country into something selfish, suspicious and hateful.