Monday Night Goofballs

The always awesome Paul Krugman has a great column in today’s New York Times that sums up the problem the U.S. Republican Party is having finding a presidential candidate. In short, the party’s ideas are so crazy they have a choice between honest candidates who are nuts or sane candidates who are liars.

Here’s Krugman:

Think about what it takes to be a viable Republican candidate today. You have to denounce Big Government and high taxes without alienating the older voters who were the key to G.O.P. victories last year — and who, even as they declare their hatred of government, will balk at any hint of cuts to Social Security and Medicare (death panels!). And you also have to denounce President Obama, who enacted a Republican-designed health reform and killed Osama bin Laden, as a radical socialist who is undermining American security.

So what kind of politician can meet these basic G.O.P. requirements? There are only two ways to make the cut: to be totally cynical or to be totally clueless.

It’s a terrific read.

But what about Ron Paul, say people who think he’s great? He’s not crazy AND he seems to stick by his statements. Well, possibly (or not). The problem with Ron Paul is that his ideas screw everybody but the billionaires. Here’s an excerpt from a recent column on Salon:

The guts of Paul’s grand scheme, where its rubber hits the road, is in the all-important theme of cutting programs that benefit the poor and middle class. Despite all its window-dressing and spin, the heart of every libertarian plan for this country is a kind of mammoth subtraction: making deep cuts in programs benefiting millions of Americans, out of a belief that such programs are morally wrong. Restoring America is a moral statement, an enshrinement of the Randian belief that aid to one facet of the population (the poor) is really “looting” of resources from other facets of the population (the wealthy) … Ayn Rand believed that there is no such thing as a “public,” and that the public was a collection of individuals, each having no obligation to the other.  So when you read through this budget, and see the deep cuts in food stamps and child nutrition, what you are seeing is an expression of a philosophy that is at odds with the Judeo-Christian system of morality embraced by most Americans.

The more you know! And now please enjoy this video of Ron Paul’s fake eyebrow falling off.

U.S. Republicans: The Party Of Life

Unless you’re an American in a coma with no health insurance.

Or a convicted criminal in Texas, where no innocent person could ever possibly be convicted of a crime.

Listen to the applause and cheers. I wonder what percentage of that crowd calls themselves Christian? I don’t remember Jesus executing criminals or letting sick people die. What a bloodthirsty, arrogant, self-righteous mob of miserable, savage, stupid hypocrites. Real Christians should fight back (nonviolently!) against this garbage.

Via Talking Points Memo

Rick Perry Officially Wants The Republican Presidential Nomination

I’m a little slow posting this but Perry took his time throwing his big, fat, stupid cowboy hat in the ring so I’m not going to sweat my dawdling.

Texas Governor Rick Perry has announced his intention to run for the Republican presidential nomination.

So. Americans wouldn’t really elect another radical, tax-cuttin’ Texan would they? One worse than George Dubya? A religious extremist who literally leads his drought-stricken state in prayer because he doesn’t comprehend policy (or weather)? Couldn’t happen, right?

Yeah. Yeah, it could.

Michele Bachman, Rick Perry, Rick Santorum, Herman Cain, maybe Sarah Palin… what a qualified bunch. The United States should definitely vote one of ’em in to replace that socialist Kenyan they’ve got now. They totally should. I’m sure something this wouldn’t ever happen:

Seriously, I’m 83 per cent sure.