REVIEW: ‘Monster Hunter’ Is More like Monster Gatherer

Milla Jovovich in Monster Hunter.

Based on Paul W.S. Anderson’s filmography, I approached Monster Hunter warily. I can only recall one movie of his that has been any good, Event Horizon, and it premiered 23 years ago.

Turns out Monster Hunter is… okay. Not good, but not unbearable like Pompeii or overstuffed like The Three Musketeers. In fact, in the first half hour this thing moves and then hits a level of simplicity unheard of for Anderson. Coherence and cohesiveness, imagine that.

Based on the Capcom videogame of the same name, Monster Hunter stars Anderson’s muse/wife Milla Jovovich as Artemis, the leader of a UN elite military unit. While patrolling a war-torn country, a sandstorm takes them to a different dimension where a gigantic creature and slightly smaller spiders make mincemeat of the soldiers (given the presence of some recognizable names, you would think they would last longer).

This being a Paul W.S. Anderson movie, Milla’s character survives. Artemis establishes a reluctant partnership with only local in sight (martial arts maverick Tony Jaa) and they go on their merry way taking down monsters while searching for an interdimensional portal. It’s like The Wizard of Oz. With tactical weaponry. 

Even though the dialogue is ear-splitting, Monster Hunter does an okay job unfurling the mythology while remaining mildly entertaining. Characters are introduced at a reasonable pace and the stakes are broadly established early. The intention to turn the movie into a franchise becomes evident soon enough, but I can’t say I cared enough for the characters to hope for a sequel. Except maybe Ron Perlman, but because he’s Ron Perlman (channeling David Lee Roth for some reason).

I’m fully aware nobody watches a movie called Monster Hunter for the character development or witty dialogue (that’s a bonus). The action scenes are reasonably well-staged, but at no point you forget you’re watching CGI creatures. The tension is just not there, and without anything else to capture your attention, the whole enterprise feels pointless. Nice faux Vangelis score though. Two massive maladjusted prairie dogs (out of five).

Monster Hunter is now playing at Cineplex and Landmark cinemas.