Rosie’s Six In The A.M. Features An Outraged Stephen Colbert, Collapsing Journalism (in More Ways Than One) And A Guy On a Buffalo

6-in-the-morning1 BENGOUGH? BENGOUGH. It’s cattle and Conservative country, where the townsfolk traditionally run people like me out of their sight. But the Gateway Music Festival has attracted Steve Earle and Corb Lund, for starters … holy moly, it appears they have a pretty good lineup.

2 LET IT SNOW (NOT) … I don’t think I’ll be singing that song to my former bosses in Melville, after the former home of Community Publishing (Prairie Dog used to get printed there long ago, but the printing presses shut down in 2008 and most of the printing now gets done in Estevan). The weight of this year’s snow pack caved in the roof yesterday.

3 NATURE OF THE BUSINESS Let’s face it, Melville isn’t the only place where the roof is falling in on the newspaper industry. The Boston Globe’s publisher recently told a conference that his newspaper used to make from $160 to $180 million on classified advertising alone. That’s gone, and thanks to Internet sites such as Monster.com, it ain’t comin’ back.

4 IN OTHER NEWS, MY MOTHER-IN-LAW WONDERS WHERE I GOT THE BLING FOR BUYING HAIR CARE PRODUCTS AT DOLLAR TREE The author of the book Friday Night Lights, Buzz Bissinger, won the Internet a couple of days ago when he wrote in GQ that in order to deal with his sexual dysfunction, he went out and bought clothes. A lot of clothes. A lot of very, very strange clothes unless he’s trying to a second career as a bouncer at a leather bar … “eighty-one leather jackets, seventy-five pairs of boots, forty-one pairs of leather pants, thirty-two pairs of haute couture jeans, ten evening jackets, and 115 pairs of leather gloves.” Buzz is in rehab now, for a mild bipolar disorder. (You mean, somebody can work in journalism and make enough money to afford all that? Who knew?)

5 SAD NEWS I attended the University of Regina in the early 1980s, and shared a Logic 100 class with about 100 others, including Ron Lancaster Jr. The son of Ron Lancaster, and a pretty good CFL coach in his own right, passed away yesterday in his Hamilton apartment at the age of 50.

6 DEFENSE OF GAY MARRIAGE ACT Stephen Colbert launches a freakout after Papa Bear (Bill O’Rielly) goes to play for the other team. In other news, the lawsuits regarding the Defense of Marriage Act and California’s Proposition 9 (and how the Supreme Court is probably going to throw them both out) is succinctly and entertainingly explained here. And for the bigots in the crowd … were these quotes made by people opposed to gay marriage or those opposed to inter-racial marriage? And could you tell the difference?
HE’S MAKING IT UP AS HE GOES ALONG Let me get this straight. Brad Wall cuts the Saskatchewan Film and Video Tax Credit, saying that it’s propping up an economically unsustainable industry. Then he tells everybody opposing the decision — even the Saskatchewan Chamber of Commerce — to go pound sand. Then he says the government has studies that show it’s unsustainable. The studies don’t appear to exist, because his government never asked for studies about the film/video tax credit: they only asked for spin doctors to rationalize that decision AFTER the government made the decision. Christ on a crutch, if Wall was any denser we could use him as a sandbag.

YOUR MUSICAL MOMENT OF ZEN PART ONE: The greatest song in the world …

YOUR MUSICAL MOMENT OF ZEN PART TWO: In honour of the Saskatchewan film industry, here’s R.E.M. covering Richard Thompson.

Friday Afternoon Cute Food Critic

Originally, this was going to be a post about pug agility contests. They’re out there, and they’re amazing. I’d never considered it, but there are pugs out there who can jump, slalom and do anything your more traditionally agility-minded dog can do. And they look great doing it in slow-mo, as seen in the middle of this video.

But we have what amounts to a YouTube crisis. The video above is shy of 150,000 views, when it clearly deserves so many more. Really, this is unacceptable. “Food Critic Pug” is one of the few dog videos I can think of that justifies being over a minute long. I don’t know that I would give the pug a full-time reviewing job, but he could at least do another four or five instalments, all with at least 500,000 views.

Friday Afternoon Puppy

I post from the Daily Puppy more often than I should, but seriously: look at this dude. His name is Charlie, and they say he’s a “Chihuahua/Pekingese/shih tzu/Australian shepherd” mix.

His owners make a rookie Daily Puppy mistake and don’t write his blurb from his point of view. Luckily, the commenters on this site are always more than willing to take up that challenge themselves. “Yeah! I may have been born on the mean streets of ‘The City,’ but I’m a butterball inside where it counts.” Thanks, commenter PoppySeed!

(This post brought to you by the series of late-night texts I was sending Stephen Whitworth last night, where I was promising that if my apartment allowed dogs, I would leave that very moment to get one.)

Friday Afternoon Puppy: N.Y.C. Edition

I’m quick to give a dog from a YouTube an internal monologue, though they’re mostly “What an adorable dummy I am.” The documentary series New Yorkers has a more developed voice for their bulldog buddy. In this video — which I found over at the Atlantic — Harry Grumbles talks about his life in the city, describing, among other things, how he’s going to the bathroom all over the place. I think the word to describe Harry Grumbles is “streetwise”.

Shooting Tame Deer Is Evil

From the Winnipeg Free Press:

Members of a Manitoba Hutterite colony found the fawn in a ditch, its umbilical cord still attached, and brought the orphaned animal into their sanctuary. They hand-fed the deer fresh-baked bread and its favourite beverage: sweet tea. Children frolicked with their cuddly pet and the community laughed when the deer came to church one Sunday. They called him Bambi. Manitoba Conservation officers killed Bambi Saturday on a colony street while the animal’s foster families watched in horror.

“They shot him right in the front lawn and there were quite a few of us watching from the windows,” said Evie-Lynn Maendel, who lives on the Windy Bay Colony, located near Pilot Mound in southwestern Manitoba. ” I saw him fall and he was thrashing around for about a minute. It was hard to see for everyone.”

Fuck. Not okay. Sometimes things happen in life that require a more nuanced solution that idiotic adherence to normally good rules and policy designed to protect both the public and animals. Maybe Manitoba’s government should bring in legislation to make it easier for people in rural areas to give sanctuary to orphaned wildlife.

Of course that’s probably an overreaction too. the best solution would’ve been to offer some support to a community that did a good, Christian thing for an animal.

This is a catastrophic failure of decency, humanity and wisdom. It’s also a profound example of laziness. And cowardice.

Do better, humans.

An Unnatural History Of Giant Squid

Two of my favourite things — giant squid and the writing of Mark Dery — came together recently (or as Steve put it, “you like Mark Dery and everybody likes giant squid”). In this long but worthy read on Boing Boing, Dery contemplates the history, anatomy and environmental portent of the increasingly intimate relationship between humanity and crazy giant squid:

Bleached white by its preservative bath, the tentacle feels hard yet rubbery to the touch, like an overinflated bicycle tire—a bicycle tire studded with suckers the size of quarters, on stalks. Running my thumb around the inside of one, I feel the sawtoothed ring of chitin that gives the creature its fearsome grip. In life, its suckers leave proof of the fabled beast’s existence: ring-shaped scars on the hide of its archnemesis, the Sperm whale. A photo in a 1917 Smithsonian publication bears the poetic caption, “a piece of Sperm whale skin relating a battle with a giant squid, in sucker scar script.”

The Kraken Wakes: What Architeuthis Is Trying to Tell Us

Friday [Morning] Kitty: Meow Mix

UPDATE: Well, SOMEone who scheduled a blog post in advance apparently doesn’t know the difference between his a.m. and his p.m. What a dope! What an idiot! What a maroon! Anyway, this is now a Friday MORNING kitty. Enjoy.

Original post

UK animator Cyriak Harris’ stuff is great and creepy. I posted his* terrifying, gruesome and bloody holiday short Spirit Of Christmas yesterday and I’ve posted his weirdo cat videos in the past without realizing who he was. But I’d never posted this gem from 2009. I like the fact that it’s not just three minutes of the same thing, which a lot of shorts like this are.

*Yes, I confirmed he’s a “he” because it’s naughty to assume people with unusual names are male.