1 GAZA DAY SIX: 96 PALESTINIANS DEAD And at least 23 were children. Three Israelis have been killed as well. Awful.
2 AND HEY, ONLY 600,000 PEOPLE WERE KILLED ON THE WAY TO PEACE Colombia’s rebel group FARC has declared a ceasefire. They’ve been negotiating a truce with the government for about a month.
3 MEANWHILE IN REGINA A body was found at the CP railyards and the death is considered suspicious; the NDP leadership debate kicked off at the Ramada this weekend; Regina’s mayor wants a meeting with the dastardly RM of Sherwood and Agribition starts today and “it’s not just for farmers”. In fact, “this isn’t your grandpa’s Agribition anymore.”
4 THE GOBLINS ATE THE PONIES A lot of animals died during filming of The Hobbit due to shitty conditions. Hopefully whoever’s responsible will get to enjoy some not-shitty conditions in jail.
5 SANE REPUBLICANS?! Anthopologists have identified pro-same-sex marriage, pro women’s rights members of the Republican party. Unfortunately for Republicans there are many, many more twits like Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who thinks creationism should be taught in schools. (This is also your daily reminder that if you believe the earth is 6,000 years old you are dumb. Please stay away from children — you don’t want to infect them with your stupidity.)
6 “DRUNK MAN IN AUSTRALIA ATTEMPTS TO RIDE CROCODILE” I think this wins the “headline of the day”prize. Then again, maybe not. Is anyone actually surprised that drunk men in Australia climb on 16-foot crocs? Also, hats off to the reporter who got the crocodile’s name (“Fatso”!). Good reporters always get the croc’s name.
METRIC! Pretty good show on Friday! You should’ve been there, Regina. The band played “Black Sheep”, which was a great surprise. All the little Scott Pilgrim fans had nerdgasms.