1 “RUTTING CHIMPANZEE” Another women says she was assaulted by IMF head and French presidential hopeful Dominique Strauss-Kahn. His supporters say he’s been set up. Regardless: you know what’s a good tool to use when you want to hit on someone? Words. You know what’s bad? Grabby hands.

2 REST IN PEACE Beloved NHL enforcer Derek Boogaard passed away this weekend. He was 28. His funeral service is today. His family hasĀ donated his brain to science — there’s been substantial interest in athletes brains lately and Boogaard was a fighter who’d suffered a concussion this year — but a cause of death isn’t known yet. The story in the link reports he’d been in the NHL’s Substance Abuse and Behavioral Health program but cautions against drawing conclusions before we have facts. Good advice. MoreĀ here.

3 BLAST OFF The space shuttle Endeavour began its final mission this a.m. I’m looking forward to the next generation of shuttle orbiters and — what do you mean there’s no next generation of orbiters ready to go? Oh that’s right, the U.S. won’t spend money on anything non-military because the only thing that matters is tax cuts. Screw science and adventure.

4 EU SAME-SEX COUPLES GET PENSION BENEFITS And the world is a little more rational and civilized.

5 PERMANENT PROPOGANDA Some Conservative cabinet ministers wanted those Canada Economic Action Plan signs made permanent. The signs are blue and green rather than red and white traditionally associated with Canadian messaging. In fairness, the Conservatives’ colours are red, white and blue (and I wish that was a joke but it isn’t). Green and blue aren’t any party’s colours. Well, except this one’s. La la.

Hey, here’s an idea, let’s just change our country’s flag to the colours of whatever political party wins every election?

6 THERE’S NO EASTER BUNNY, EITHER Stephen Hawking, who is a genius, says there’s no afterlife: “I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers; that is a fairy story for people afraid of the dark.” Kind of makes you want to live your life as well as possible and make the lives of those around you more pleasant, eh?

ALSO! Momentous announcement in the film world this weekend: the long-gestating sci-fi epic Iron Sky has scored a release date! The movie arrives in theatres April 4, 2012. Of course it probably won’t show up here because we’ll have Alvin And The Chipmunks 7 hogging six or seven screens. (That’s for you, Shane!) Anyway. New trailer!