1 YOU’RE WITH US OR YOU’RE WITH THE CHILD PORNOGRAPHERS Yes, that is actually what Justice Minister Vic “Pervy ‘Stache” Toews said to Liberal critic Francis Scarpaleggia. George Bush, anyone? Also, no wonder Harper is so enamoured with China–I suspect that country allows warrantless spying on their citizens, too.

2 WILL THE PAT COME BACK? Betcha a nickel Fiacco’s answer will be “no”. UPDATE: Everyone owes me a nickel.

3 WHEN YOU ACCUSE PEOPLE OF BEING SEXUAL PREDATORS WITHOUT A SHRED OF EVIDENCE YOU GET IN TROUBLE. WHO KNEW? Prairie dog’s second-favourite Saskatoon-area Tory MP wins a defamation lawsuit.

4 CAN WE MAYBE, PLEASE, NOT HAVE ANOTHER STUPID MIDDLE EASTERN WAR? Relations between the U.S. and Iran continue to be tense. Also, you realize that if a fight did break out, Canada would probably dive right in, eh? (I say probably because there’s a good chance Stephen Harper would realize that scale of military adventure would make him a one-term government. He’s evil, not stupid.)

5 MOST BRITISH CHRISTIANS AREN’T JERKS Turns out 61 per cent of them support marriage equality. Would not have guessed. Wonder what the numbers are in Canada and the (haw haw) United States?

6 TURNS OUT AMERICANS ACTUALLY LIKE THEIR SEXUAL FREEDOMS The U.S. Republican party is dividing over Barack Obama’s birth control insurance compromise. Remember when I said the president was being a dork (point #4)? I was very, very, very wrong.

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! Have a cute cat video.