1 FAKERS NEVER PROSPER Hey, remember that whole “Sun News fakes Canadian citizenship ceremony” thing, where a bunch of civil servants appeared on a Sun broadcast and pretended they were new Canadian citizens, or at least were called new Canadian citizens repeatedly by the hosts? And remember when both Sun News spokespeople and immigration minister Jason Kenney said that nasty bureaucrats pulled the wool over everybody’s eyes, including those of poor innocent Sun News (because the only villains in politics, ever, are bureaucrats)? Well, surprise! That was a talking point and not really the actual truth.

2 MAGNOTTA COMING BACK Do the facts around the foot-mailing suspect’s arrest in Berlin – that he was caught easily; that he was looking at stories about himself in an Internet café at the time; that he isn’t fighting his extradition at all – make anyone else worried about what exactly he’s going to do during his trial here in Canada? Because it worries me.

3 B.C. ISLAND/RICH-GUY PARADISE FOR SALE So what if, since 1995, James Island has been subject to claims a First Nations band that wants the land they were promised would be returned to them? Have you seen the island’s golf course? Fabulous!!!!

4 SCOTT WALKER ENROUTE TO RE-ELECTION, SOMEHOW Despite being hated enough to actually warrant a recall election, it looks like Republican (and odious Koch Bros. toady) Scott Walker will be retaining his gubernatorial power in Wisconsin. Mothers, hide your paintings of poor children enjoying their childhood.

5 INCOMING BATH SALTS BAN The Tories plan to restrict access to key ingredients in psychosis-inducing terror drug bath salts, thus scoring the final, decisive victory in the War on Drugs.

6 NEEEEEEEEEERDS Okay, I’ll be honest, I haven’t actually been following video game mega-event E3 (Electronic Entertainment Expo, geddit?) all that much, but there’s some interesting stuff coming out of it. Microsoft wants to turn you into a less depressing version of the hyperconnected entertainments-fixated recluses from Infinite Jest (and also wants you to use Internet Explorer on your Xbox, a feature that complements the system’s current implementation of Bing in terms of its utter uselessness), and Ubisoft floored everyone with their presser, especially with new property Watch Dogs. The fact that Watch Dogs apparently takes place in an open-world Chicago is enough for me to buy it right now, sight unseen, but happily the gameplay video that they’ve released is worth getting excited about: