Everyone’s favourite Tuesday Schmockel is out of commission today so I’m back again today. Yay? Or BOOOOO? Anyway:

1 BYE-BYE GUN REGISTRY (RANT ALERT) Canada’s long gun registry is officially doomed — and not just doomed: all the information collected will be destroyed. The registry was brought in by the Liberals in 1993 after Marc Lepine shot 28 female engineering students, killing 14, at Montreal’s Ecole Polytechnique in 1989. Saskatchewan gun owners who resented having to register their dangerous weapons are probably thrilled. Police answering domestic disturbance calls, who can use the registry to find out if a household has guns before they show up? Probably not so much. And I’ll add: I’ve always listened to criticisms of the gun registry. It wasn’t perfect and implementation seemed heavy-handed and perhaps out of touch with the realities of rural life. Not today: don’t have the patience for it. Gun rights advocates are Tuesday’s Dog Blog Assholes Of The Day.*

2 THE ECONOMY IS LIMPING AND THE LOONIE’S SURGING, WAIT, SINKING Stories about money stuff here and here.

3 ABOVE THE LAW Shockingly, George W. Bush won’t be tried for war crimes in British Columbia. More evidence that torture is okay with Canada.

4 RIGHT ALONGSIDE THE SKELETON OF THE DOG THAT SPAWNED DICK CHENEY Moammar Gadhafi is buried in an undisclosed location.

5 HOORAY FOR EARTHQUAKE BABY! Okay, one scrap of good news before I blow a fuse: a healthy infant has been pulled from the rubble in Turkey, along with her mom and grandmother. In less happy news, the earthquake’s death toll has climbed to above 400.

6 RICK PERRY IS A TOOL Now he wants to effectively¬†cut taxes for the rich. Fortunately for him, lots of American voters who aren’t rich are tools as well. Unfortunately for him he’s probably too full of shit to win the Republican nomination, let alone the next U.S. election. Note that I said “probably”.

WOMBATS: THEY’RE A THING Here’s a cute animal video from The Guardian, dedicated to Planet S editor and wombat fan Chris Kirkland, and to cheer me up because today’s news sucks.

*Also, I like how the Conservatives bring in new, tough-on-crime laws while scrapping gun ownership rules. It’s insane.