1 THE MARKETS ARE STABLE, HOORAY AND HUZZAH! Why, they’re even “trading modestly higher.” Thank goodness because this is the only issue that matters in the world.

2 SYRIA KEEPS MURDERING SYRIANS Oh well I guess there’s this. Also don’t forget about Libya and the Congo and Somalia and London (where PM David Cameron is proposing ridiculous, unrealistic things) and even Canada.

3 RICK PERRY SUCKS Yet another jerk from Texas will announce his run for the Republican presidential nomination tomorrow. Too bad he missed out on all the the debate fun. I d0n’t think any Republican can beat Obama, but that’s okay because it looks like Obama can beat himself just fine.

4 SHEEPDOGS BLAH BLAH Apparently some people are all perturbed about the article. Haven’t read it yet but Planet S’ Chris Morin has.

5 ALBERTA VS. GROUPON CBC has an interesting piece about expiry dates for gift cards and the law. Shock conclusion by this reader: I dunno, sounds to me like the way Groupon provides refunds for unused gift certificates it is actually fair. Also, maybe the problem is the attitudes of some of the businesses that partner with Groupon. I dunno. Thoughts?

6 BERT AND ERNIE AREN’T GAY It’s official. Get over it. Frankly if there is a gay Muppet, it’s Kermit. He said just be straight with miss Piggy, the damn coward. (H/T Ron for the first link)

DEPT. OF GUILTY PLEASURES I like this movie trailer.

Hey, this was my 600th post on the blog! I’m three-quarters as good as Beatty.