6-in-the-morning1 SNOW MORE PATIENCE It’s -4 and snowing on and off, whyyyyy? It suuuuucks! And the highways are baaad! Also, the roof of the old Comic Readers–which was recently a daycare but thank god is now empty–collapsed under 20,000 pounds of snow.

2 MORE SASKATCHEWAN AND REGINA NEWS The long-time head of the Saskatchewan Union of Nurses steps down; the Province has appointed a mediator in the contract dispute between Evraz place and workers. the union hasn’t had a contract since 2011 and are asking for a 30 per cent raise, which is pretty much a meaningless number without knowing what the salary range is; and someone maybe saw a grenade in Saskatoon; and Saskatchewan has dog racism.

3 QUEBEC DAYCARE SHOOTING One adult dead, 53 children unharmed. Besides psychologically. Story here.

4 IDIOT VIRGINIA AG (WHO’S RUNNING FOR GOVERNOR) WANTS TO MAKE ORAL SEX ILLEGAL however his campaign won’t discuss whether any of its staff have committed this “crime against nature”. Republicans sure are fucked. In the HEAD (haw haw haw!).

5 IDIOT U.S. CONSERVATIVES AREN’T GOING TO LIKE THIS A U.S. federal judge has struck down a “”arbitrary, capricious and unreasonable” U.S. federal government agency rule forcing women under 18 to require a prescription for the morning after pill. Good. This rule was insane — the pill could prevent scads and and scads of abortions which conservatives claim to want. U.S. conservatives are such imbeciles, ha ha ha– wait, what? Democratic President Barack Obama supported this bullshit? Well, shit. I guess in America, everyone is fucked in the head.

6 A 1,600 YEAR-OLD SHEET OF GLACIAL ICE MELTED IN JUST 25 YEARS But don’t worry, it’s snowing in April so climate change is still just a socialist theory.

VIDEO! Oldie but a goodie. Parents, don’t let your kids read comic books. They’ll grow up to have psychotic breaks in diners.