1 PARTY ON PORTAGE A few hundred Jets boosters shut down a lane of Portage and Main last night. The famous corner was the spot where Bobby Hull signed with the then-new Winnipeg Jets in 1971 and where Dale Hawerchuk signed with the team in 1981. It was also the site of a depressing, last-stand Save The Jets rally in 1995. Barring the end of the world, it sounds like the NHL is returning to Winnipeg. Even the mayor says it’s going to happen. They better call the team the Winnipeg Jets!

2 ALL AROUND THE WORLD Obama meets Netanyahu, Syria is still on a murder-binge, resigned  IMF head Strauss-Kahn is out on bail and Spain reigns reins in its spending.

3 SPEAKING OF THE WORLD, IT ENDS TOMORROW Come on, obviously the NHL’s return to Winnipeg makes it clear we’re all doomed. Doooomed!

4 BIG NEW OFFICE TOWER FOR REGINA Very glass-and-steel-y looking. What do you guys think of it? Haven’t got a strong opinion myself.

5 THE U.S. CENTER FOR DISEASE CONTROL RELEASED ZOMBIE SURVIVAL GUIDELINES  It’s true! And then a gazillion Internet zombies went to the centre’s website and ate it’s its brain.

6 AND NOW THE UNION-BASHING WISCONSIN DICKHEAD WANTS TO KEEP GAY COUPLES APART WHEN ONE OF THEM IS CRITICALLY ILL For anyone who thinks it’s dumb to worry about same-sex rights, well, look at this. This is happening in a supposedly developed, well-educated nation. Chee-rist. Apologies for being a couple of days late with this one. But also, on the bright side, most Americans — well, 53 per cent — now support same-sex marriage rights.

BONUS BOTTOMLESS GRIEF: R.I.P. MACHO MAN Randy Savage is dead. “WHAAAT? shouts a co-worker. “Well thank god I’m not 12.” (Because then my co-worker would be inconsoloble).