Six In The Morning: It Started Off So Well

6-in-the-morning1 OFF A BRIDGE AND INTO THE RIVER A Saskatoon woman is somehow apparently unarmed unharmed after a spectacular car accident. Sounds like the car went off a snow ramp. Thank goodness she’s okay.

2 RIDE THE BUS FREE TONIGHT Details here. Story here. Rant about how this should’ve been offered after the Grey Cup game burbling in my brain.

3 DID YOU KNOW THE CONSERVATIVES ARE DESTROYING SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH? Jesus Christ. Analysis here.

I mean, just read this:

Scientists have variously condemned the dismantling of the one of the world’s finest aquatic libraries as a natural tragedy, a series of criminal acts and information destruction unworthy of a democracy. “The fact that many materials were thrown away or given away is heartbreaking to those of us who are dedicated to this field of research (marine science and fisheries) and the history of science in Canada,” says Peter Wells, a prominent marine environmental scientist at Dalhousie University.

No one should have voted for this government. Voters made a mistake.

4 IN RELATED NEWS, MORE AND MORE AMERICAN REPUBLICANS REJECT THE THEORY OF EVOLUTION It’s true. No word yet on a timeline to bring back witch trials.

5 IT’S SO COLD It’s cold here but it’s worse in Winnipeg*. -50 with the windchill? Holy crap that’s cold.

6 WHO WANTS A ROAD TRIP? Weed will be legal in Colorado in less than 24 hours. Smart experts predict the world will not end. There’s a good primer for out-of-towners here and info for Canadians specifically here. Also, marijuanaphobes who support the idiotic, harmful  and futile war on drugs will hopefully be quietly escorted away from actual adult conversations about the complications –or “risks”, as CTV’s dipshit headline writer called ’em — of legal drugs.

Hey, imagine if pot was legal in Saskatchewan? We could attract tons of U.S. tourists, rake in tax revenue and build up a diverse economy (because our economy’s dependence on resources is something anyone with a brain worries about).

BONUS: A SOUTH SUDAN FAQ Helpful! Meanwhile, here’s the latest Sudan war news.

*That would be a hilarious motto for my former city. Ha ha ha!

ALSO, THESE HORRIBLE THINGS Climate change projections are hitting civilization-ending-level numbersChildren were beheaded in the Central African Republic; fukkin’ Egypt is arresting journalists; Russia’s homophobic tyrant is babbling about revenge; we live in a world where poor people work like slaves to make our clothes and I kinda think that sorta makes us monsters;  and Syria missed an important deadline to get rid of chemical weapons.

HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVE What a world. Oh well. Maybe next year will be better. In the meantime, turn it up:

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth was carried to Regina in a swarm of bees. He's been with Prairie Dog since May 1999 and will die at his keyboard before admitting his career a terrible, terrible mistake.

5 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: It Started Off So Well”

  1. Thanks for not fixing my typo, Paul. We don’t want to deprive readers of amusement at my expense.

  2. The snow formed a ramp? Mabye our Sk cities should be forced by law ( mandated ) to REMOVE street snow, not just push it around & make a 2 lane st a 1.5 lane street. Miniumum budget $10M , Every Year. The city wants to expand fine… but the city has to coin up for the up keep! A 1/2 year use, NEW STADIUM is’t gonna save lives/ commute grief etc..

    #hpy014 ! : )

  3. Finally, there’s the Six I know and love. Thanks, Whitworth, for ending my 2013 on a depressing, humourous, hopeful, sarcastic and cynical note. Just the way I like it. Clearly, you’re much more than a snake charmer – you’re a people charmer, too!

    Happy new year to Prairie Dog – may you enjoy continued success as you entertain, enlighten, captivate, exasperate, educate, stimulate and delight. And, to all the saucy folks who do what you do to make The Dog such a lovely beast — all the best to you in the new year. Keep stirring the sauce, but take time to enjoy it in all its glory. Here’s to amazing adventures and fun times with friends old and new in 2014!

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