6 in the Morning1 REST IN PEACE Connecticut begins to bury its dead.

2 MORE GUNS MAKE EVERYONE SAFER Some dipshit with a handgun fired 50 shots in a California shopping centre’s parking lot and freaked everyone out. He surrendered peacefully. No one was shot, hit by stray bullets or otherwise killed.


Newtown wasn’t a tragedy; Newtown was a policy decision. We can do nothing for the children who are dead; weeping for them like they’re our own is partly ridiculous, and partly obscene. What’s even more ridiculous and obscene is not preparing for the next one. What’s needed now isn’t warmhearted empathy; it’s cold-blooded reason. America needs its leaders to look at the numbers of mass murders, look at the most effective policies for reducing mass murder, and apply those policies. And if they don’t do that, the blood of the next batch of children is on their heads.

4 A LOW DENSITY CITY IS AN EXPENSIVE CITY TO SERVICE So it shouldn’t surprise anyone that it takes time for city services to arrive in new Regina subdivisions.

5 4 SICK PEOPLE MUSTN’T GROW THEIR OWN POT BECAUSE “REASONS” Really, Government of Canada? Really? You don’t think pot should be legal and regulated in a similar (but not the same) way as alcohol, which as we all know is infinitely more dangerous? I love how the minister says this proposal “strike[s] the right balance between patient access and public safety.” HA HA HA. Marijuana is not a threat to public safety. Marijuana prohibition is. Prohibition laws make ordinary Canadians criminals and criminals wealthy. How many Reginans smoked pot this weekend? Should they all be in jail?  I guess so. But I say it’s 2012 and the time for this idiocy is over.

6 RUSSIA IS APPARENTLY SCARED OF MAYANS Here’s the details. I love this quote: “There are people who are prone to mental epidemics and I think that most of them are in our country.” Oh also: National Geographic says there won’t be a Mayan Apocalypse. But that propaganda rag also says global warming is real (ha ha as if) so we should all probably still move to Russia and hoard supplies.

GOOD MORNING, MONDAY Let us now reflect on the two types of people who exist in this world.