Six In The Morning: Goodbye To All That Edition

1. RIP ELIZABETH EDWARDS. America’s First Lady of Fortitude in the Face of Humiliation died of cancer on Tuesday. Long may she reign in the Glorious Kingdom, which is only available to people who’ve put up with the sort of crap she had to deal with. (via New York Times – registration required)

2. THE CASE AGAINST JULIAN ASSANGE IS JUST… STUPID. BUT A RICH POTENTIAL SOURCE OF PUNS. So. Apparently Julian Assange slept with two Swedish women. A condom broke or something (maybe it leaked)? Then one of the women wanted to get in touch with him over worries of hypothetical STIs. But he wasn’t getting back to her right away? But eventually he did. Then the woman went to the police, but not with the intent to file charges or anything. Just… you know, let’s go talk to the police. Maybe Swedish police stations have bowls of candy or something. Hell, read it yourself. (Toronto Star)

3. STOP THAT, DON CHERRY. YOU GO SIT IN THE CORNER AND SCREAM AT YOUR PANCAKES. Don Cherry surprised everyone at Rob Ford’s inauguration ceremony as mayor of Toronto, when Cherry placed the chain of office around Ford’s neck – an act which is generally the province of the city clerk, not a deranged sportscaster with amyloid plaques obviously devouring his brain. Cherry then delivered a baffling blast of invective against “left-wing kooks” and “pinkos”. Said Ford: “I’ve been a huge fan. Don is exactly what you see is what you get”. (Toronto Star)

4. THANK YOU WIKILEAKS: U.S. DEFENSE CONTRACTOR HELPED PIMP OUT LITTLE BOYS TO STONED AFGHANI POLICE. Here’s another term you wish never existed: a bacha bazi (“boy play”) party, in which boys aged eight to 15 dress up like women, do a little dance and then get auctioned off. For dancing and light housework? No. Texas company DynCorp helped throw at least one of these parties for Afghan police recruits in Kunduz province. Check out the cable between Afghan Interior Minister Hanif Atmar and the U.S. Embassy, in which Atmar pleads for some high-level help in quashing this story. Because it is so repulsive. And this is not even the first time that DynCorp has been caught in the sex slave racket. But it appears to be the first time this century, so there’s that. (Houston Press)

5. GEORGE LUCAS IS THE KILLER OF THE DEAD. Everyone’s enjoying the cultural zombie zeitgeist, but leave it to Jabba the Lucas to take it literally. Lucas has been buying the rights to dead film stars in order to digitally insert them into movies so that, say, Jimmy Stewart may romance Tina Fey. Or that J.T. Walsh may hunt Justin Bieber on his Martian ranch. Whatever. Both of those suggestions would make better movies than whatever George Lucas is sure to come up with. This is going to suck and there’s nothing you or I can do about it. (The Guardian)

6. DON’T LOOK NOW, BUT THERE’S A NEW POET LAUREATE ON THE HORIZON. Saskatchewan author Don Kerr is the province’s new Poet Laureate. His term will run from January 1 2011 to December 31 2012. More importantly, Kerr rates a solid 7.25 on the Saskatchewan Poet Laureate Hotness Index, which puts him slightly ahead of Glen Sorestad (mustache deduction) but woefully behind Louis Louise Halfe.

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.

15 thoughts on “Six In The Morning: Goodbye To All That Edition”

  1. I think there’s a lot to be suspicious about re: the Assange investigation (the timing, the extraordinary actions of Interpol, etc.), but that Toronto Star article is ridiculous. It relies entirely on unnamed sources and an article by the Daily Mail (not exactly known for its grade A journalism). It doesn’t mention what is actually alleged (that Assange had sex with one of the women while she was asleep, and that during one encounter, he was asked to stop and refused).

    I’m not saying he’s guilty–I really don’t know–but it’s really frustrating that very few media outlets seem able to question the fishiness surrounding the case without relying on “man, women are really stupid, obsessive, and vindictive, and just cry rape about anything” tropes, which is what that Star article boils down to.

    This article does a better job pointing out how frustrating the reporting on this has been:

  2. What does a Sask poet laureate write about? Potash, oil, cattle, and the Riders? (He does, only if he wants to be popular.)

  3. the assange investigation has been kicking around for a while but like the grand total that the charges could come to is something like a $700 fine if i remember right. it would work less against him if he would just go face the charges and if found guilty just pay the fine and be on his way. worked for charlie sheen.

    people toeing the “hell hath no fury like a woman etc.” line include naomi wolf, hilariously enough, although she uses it as an argument against the case. it’s patently absurd either way – if it’s just a misdemeanour, get it taken care of. he can still continue to cry foul over, say, bringing interpol into it.

  4. JB – Thank you for pointing that out Re: Assange.

    I’m extremely disappointed in the prairie dog for posting this kind of patronizing tone against women who may have been sexually violated by Assange. These kinds of attitudes out of the media are making a joke of laws which exist to protect women. I agree that the use of these charges and the inclusion of interpol and a most wanted list is clearly above and beyond and we should be angry over that. But lets not make statements about these women as arbitrarily seeking jealous retribution or some thing. If a condom is a condition for consent, and the person does not wear a condom without the partner knowing, that’s not consent. If a condom breaks during sex, and one partner says stop, and the other partner does not stop, that’s not consent.

  5. AC: whaddaya mean “prairie dog”? give the writer some credit/blame. He wrote it!

    I care a lot about your basic point AC but sentences that start with “I’m extremely disappointed in the prairie dog for posting this…” are obnoxious. If you want flat, dead, risk-free writing go read press releases. We want our stuff to be lively and interesting, and take chances. That means sometimes writers might say something in a way that’s incredibly insensitive or ill-considered. Or maybe they’ll crack a joke some people find tasteless. That’s fine. Boring is death. Besides it’s okay to argue with any of us for saying something questionable. Truth is in conversation, not monologue anyway.

    /ill-considered rant ends.

    You may now resume telling Aidan he’s a total jackass.

    (Also, it’s just prairie dog. No “the”.)

    (This comment has been edited to make it better.)

  6. AC – Thanks for commenting on my piece. I agree completely with what you’re saying about consent. My comments were actually aimed at the vagueness of the article, not the women involved or any issues of consent. Sorry for any misunderstanding!

    Except of course I said that the case is stupid. I should have been clearer – I thought the article’s outlining of the case was ridiculous.

  7. Aidan – Thanks for clarifying, I don’t think you’re a jackass. I’ve just been frustrated by the way a lot of media have been discussing the case. After being berated by some pieces I found particularly misogynist, I jumped at your comments. But turns out we agree! The outlining of the case in that article IS ridiculous.

    Stephen – Its not that I want “flat, dead, risk free writing”, I just want writing with doesn’t hurt women. I apologize if you found my misdirected disappointment obnoxious. Better now?

  8. Whoops, my sarcasm meter was off for that one (#2), too. The way people are really talking about this is so bizarre (see: that article) that it’s hard to tell mocking from sincerity.

  9. I make no promises about prairie dog contributers not hurting anyone’s sensibilities. We’ll just keep doing our best to be informative and entertaining while fighting alongside the Forces Of Truth and Goodness. When we’re wrong, we welcome criticism and correction. In fact we welcome criticism even if YOU’RE wrong. We’re swell that way.

  10. I can’t speak for AC, but I think he/she/THEY! didn’t mean hurting women’s sensibilities, but was referring to how the way that rape is frequently discussed can actually, in real-world terms, cause harm to women. As you’ve probably seen, most media outlets covering this case (or, hell, any case) aren’t too interested in Truth and Goodness in that regard.

  11. JB that’s exactly what I mean, thank you! Offend my sensibilities all you want, but its not my sensibilities that are offended. Its the fact that a lot of the discourse plays down sexual accusations. Accusations for crimes that are a reality to a lot of women, and often go unreported. If media outlets constantly report these types of cases in a manner which sends the message that they aren’t to be taken seriously that encourages the problem. (I don’t mean Aidan anymore, I just want to make it clear that my reaction was not just a reflex of my delicate sensibilities)

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