Wow, Microsoft Security Essentials sure did a hell of a number on Google Chrome in our office this morning. But you don’t care about that. You want the news!

1 REASON WINS OVER IDEOLOGY FOR ONCE Canada’s Supreme Court has ruled that the Canadian Government can’t shut down safe injection sites like Insite. Insite has been proven to save lives and help addicts find treatment, and it has also cut down on stray used needles turning up in alleyways. This might actually good news for the Tories, who have been exceptionally stupid on drug policy: they lost a fight that was making them look like idiots who don’t listen to facts, and now they can move on (doubtless to other fights where they look like idiots who don’t listen to facts, but still). The story can also be found in other news outlets: try here, here, here and here for starters.


3 SASKATCHEWAN NEEDS WOMEN There are only 23 female candidates running in 58 ridings. If you assume four candidates per riding, that’s 23 women and 209 men runningĀ  for office. Ouch.

4 PARDON PRICE PROBLEM A Conservative senator wants the Harper government to rethink the new pardon fees. I don’t know; rigging the system so that only people with enough money to flush a month’s rent down the toilet can have their criminal records filed away sounded fair to me. The more money people have, the better they are. Everyone knows that.

5 STINKY ONIONS Everyone’s favourite fake news source (sorry Jon and Stephen, we love you too) confused everyone with a contextless tweet about hostages in Congress. Guess some things are a little #tooclose tothetruth to laugh at.

6 TOP U.S. SCIENCE FACILITY SHUTS DOWN Tea Partiers will no doubt be happy to hear this news because it’s more evidence that their country’s best hope for the future truly is prayer.

FRIDAY VIDEO It’s long and dumb and I laughed my ass off. If you like unusually stupid humour you might like this unaired pilot from the late ’90s, which Ben Stiller says will “knock you back on your coal-mining asses.”