THIEVES OF GRASS. Edmontonian Denise Thompson returned from a family vacation in Stettler (really?) to find that someone had stolen her lawn. Now there’s a big patch of dirt, where emerald sod once brightened the neighbourhood. In a completely coincidental story, prairie dog writer and hat fancier Paul Dechene spent some time in Edmonton recently. If I use my skills of deducing right, then my ironclad logic tells me the likely culprit is Socrates, who should be put to death immediately. And if Socrates isn’t available, then it was probably Paul, who should be sent out to sea in a giant hat.

AND THE NEW AREA CODE NUMBER GOES TO… Well, nothing’s certain yet, but it appears that 639, which really laid out a spectacular campaign, may be going home with the prize. Wouldn’t that be something? If your phone number started with 639? Wow. I’m going to go clip my toenails and ponder that one for a bit.

GO PROFS GO! The embattled Profs in the Park lecture series, which looked to be in some trouble when the Regina Business Improvement District objected to a talk which may have been pro-Palestinian (the title sounds pro-Palestinian, but those academics can be sneaky), has found a new home and a new name. The Profs in the City lecture series will be staged at Neutral Ground Contemporary Art Forum from now on, where academics can gather and talk about WHATEVER THEY DAMN WELL PLEASE.

PAUL MCCARTNEY TO ZZZZZ. This might be a link to a story about Paul McCartney possibly coming to Mosaic Stadium. If this is 1975, I’m so excited about seeing this phenomenal talent who certainly won’t ever go and do something like release Give My Regards To Broad Street.

LETTING BAD THING HAPPEN WOULD BE BAD. The United States is once more running up to its debt ceiling, which will need to be raised if the government is to continue borrowing. U.S. Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke suggested that it would be a bad thing not to raise the federal debt ceiling. Because then you can’t borrow anymore, and when you’re the U.S., you need to borrow like you need to breathe. This wouldn’t be an issue, but in the current U.S. political climate, the GOP will turn this into an opportunity for political posturing every six months until they a) regain power, or b) die of a massive Lipitor-Viagara overdose.

WE ARE ALL LESBIANS NOW. I’m just so tickled and squicked by all this. Once day after the “Gay Girl From Damascus” blogger was outed as a bearded American man in Scotland, it turns out that the editor of, where McMaster first donned his cyberdrag, is also a fake. Paula Brooks is apparently a 58-year-old construction worker named Paul Graber.

Both McMaster and Graber, who were unaware of each other’s real identities, claim that they wanted to be taken seriously as commenters on gay issues. So why didn’t they pretend to be gay men?