Six In The Morning

1. US TO IMPOSE NEW SANCTIONS ON NORTH KOREA. Because those North Koreans have it too good. “These measures are not directed at the people of North Korea, who have suffered too long due to the misguided priorities of their government,” Ms. Clinton said. “They are directed at the destabilizing, illicit, and provocative policies pursued by that government.”

2. KELLY OSBOURNE’S PUPPY DIED. According to Kelly, “My life could not get any worst right now“. Please send prayers and healing thoughts her way, because good wishes have been proven to resurrect dogs.

3. CONSTANCE MCMILLEN TO GET $35,000 FOR FAKE PROM SCAM. McMillen, the teen lesbian whose Mississippi school devised a fake prom to keep her from bringing a ladydate to her big night, is getting a settlement. Reports have not said whether she gets the ghost of Kelly Osbourne’s dog, but fingers crossed.

4. REGINA/SASKATOON CRIME RATES CONTINUE TO FALL. STILL #1 IN CANADA THOUGH. Fortunately for all us Reginigonians, we beat out Saskatoon to land at #1 on StatsCan’s Crime Severity Index (Saskatoon landed at #3 in the country, right behind vicious Kelowna). We’re number crime! We’re number crime!

5. WINNIE THE HULK. That is all (really, click on that link). Also, “Bear with head stuck in jar continues to elude Ontario wildlife officials”.

6. MICHIGAN WOMAN GETS UNEXPECTED TWO POUNDS OF POT IN THE MAIL. I’m just amazed that a two-pound package of marijuana made it through the US postal system without, getting, you know, “diverted”.

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.

2 thoughts on “Six In The Morning”

  1. Did the Cat Empire play last night at the Distrikt, I attempted to get tickets in June, but had been informed the show was canceled!? On the Cat Empire site is also claims they played in Saskatoon last night?

  2. All I know is that it was advertised in earlier issues of prairie dog, and is still listed on the Regina Folk Festival’s website:

    To close, as much as I enjoy doing listings for prairie dog and these daily blog posts, I don’t have the time/energy/patience to keep up with all the schedule juggling that goes on and lack of follow-up that so often occurs when something is announced with great fanfare, then cancelled or otherwise altered, and no follow-up notice is sent out to media.

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