Saskatoon Loves Happy Endings

Doomsday 2Merry Christmas from Saskatoon.  That’s what we say here in Saskatoon because, as our Mayor pointed out, Saskatoon was founded on Christianity.  That’s why our stores remain closed Sundays in recognition of the Sabbath and none of our restaurants serve meat on Fridays.

In light of the Mayans mind-boggling error in judgement, I have very little time to blog today.  I have a list of things to do before the weekend and I feel I should get started now because last minute Christmas shoppers are sure to swarm the streets.

1. Return power generator, ammunition and heirloom seeds.  I hope I can get refunds for all of this stuff.  If anybody wants to buy canned pork and  beans, I am sitting on a shitload!

2. Apologize. I was so sure about this one, and I may have been a bit assertive with friends and colleagues.  Telling people they’re nuts if they can’t “see the signs” is clearly a risky game.  I will say I am sorry and commit to  thinking logically from now on, even though accepting reality is likely to bum me out from time to time.

3. Get to the gym. Turning flabs into abs is back on.

4. Back out of the house sale. I guess I need the house after all. Hindsight suggests I shoulda built the bunker inside the house. Argh.

5. Beg for my job back. If currency is still currency, I would like to have some. Is the kiosk that buys gold still in the mall?

6. Christmas shop.  As a man, I require 90 minutes to complete this task.  I’ll need to get it done tomorrow since the stores in Saskatoon (as previously mentioned) are not open Sundays.

6 things to do, I have 6 things to do.  Gotta keep on top of my life . Got 6 things to do.  Farewell for now, and the best of all things to Reginans from the city with principles.

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Author: Toontown Rat

He is a long time Saskatoon resident and moderately important cog in the machinery of Prairie Dog's little sister, Planet S Magazine.

3 thoughts on “Saskatoon Loves Happy Endings”

  1. I would happily take those heirloom seeds off your hands, a good garden doesn’t have to be just for the apocalypse!

  2. “Saskatoon was founded on Christianity.”

    Specifically, Saskatoon was founded on the temperance movement; but — as the drunken rowdies from the Scuzz attest — times change, Mayor Crazy.

  3. Mayans’

    The Barr Colonists were indeed temperance folk, and the lack of liquor outlets in Nutana, which was their settlement, reflected temperance concerns well into the 20th century.

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