Someone in this country did something really heinous, like maybe they ran over Jesus’ puppy or Iced a Bro. Because for sins, we are about to be punished. By dipshit ring-wing entertainment. Call it punishtainment.

Most Canadians experience Fox News as a bewildering contaminant of the American airwaves, a stream of smirking invective from wax dummies who sound about as clever as a team of third graders trying to cajole the nerdy kid into eating dog poop. There’s something beyond appalling about the channel, which is basically the revenge of the mediocre against a sane world, but it can be entertaining to see the Coulters and the Becks blubber and spout.

But now we can experience the 24/7 painful erection of Fox News all its Canadianized glory. Proud Canucks, I give you Sun News Channel.

YEEAAAAAHHHH. This is the proud splurt of Conservative Party spokesman Kory Teneycke, hired by Quebecor Media to bring the unique point of view of Alberta ranchers to ‘the greatest country on earth’.

Sun News Channel arrives in 2011. Then we die. Eventually.