On The Fear Of Gender-Based Violence

Video still from Mozart's Sister via cocostereo
Video still from Mozart’s Sister via cocostereo

Thought I’d share a line of thinking I hadn’t followed in a while because I haven’t gone out much in the evenings since the birth of my daughter.

Last night I was pulling out some clean clothes to wear and putting a few things together by the front door so that I could quickly slip out of the house to check out a rock show at the Exchange, the first I’d been to in a while. “Ha ha, you’ve really gotta plan three moves in advance with this parent thing,” I thought, “I’ll have to leave just after the first band is done, I guess.”

Then I paused as it occurred to me that I’ll have to walk alone to my car in the warehouse district, which has a few bars nearby and not a lot of foot traffic on a night when people are likely partying after a Roughriders victory and at the show itself. It would more than suck to have to deal with any kind of assault, perhaps especially at this time of my life when my body has only just healed after birth and is responsible for the nourishment of a baby.

Next I had two quick reactions: maybe it wasn’t worth it and maybe I shouldn’t bother dressing nicely at all. How fucked up is that? Self-blaming, fearful thoughts. Anyway, thought I’d share what it’s like for many of us out there (and not just for privileged white women like me): we’re always planning three steps ahead and hoping for the best.

Author: Amber Goodwyn

Amber Goodwyn is a Montrealer freshly moved to the prairies where she's found a home in journalism at Prairie Dog Magazine. A jack-of-all-trades, she hopes to master some (hell, any) of the following before she expires: writing, music making, filmmaking, DJing, Werewolves.

One thought on “On The Fear Of Gender-Based Violence”

  1. You should consider taking up martial arts. Maybe its because I’ve pretty much hitchhiked alone cross Canada, walked downtown at all hours of the night, etc. But I am not intimidated by walking alone at night and I look pretty cute doing it, if I say do myself. If someone steps to me then I say bring it. But that’s just me, I can defend myself even though I’m a woman.

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