1 FRUIT OF THE LOON One way to improve a story about a story about a guy stealing 10,000 pairs of women’s panties? Read on. (The Telegraph [Australia])

2 THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN SPACE:1999 FANS DON’T GROW UP Newt Gingrich promises to build a moon base. (TPM)

3 SO MUCH FOR THAT FOX NEWS NETWORK GIG Fidel Castro thinks the U.S. Republican Party is stone-cold crazier than the Kennedy administration that tried to make his beard fall out 50 years ago. Fidel’s not as blonde as ex-SNLer Victoria Jackson. (Miami New Times)

4 OKAY THAT EXPLAINS A LOT Pat Sajak says he and Vanna would throw back a few margaritas before taping Wheel of Fortune. (Hollywood Reporter)

5 SEE? STEPHEN HARPER HAS MADE US SAFER ALREADY Canadians today feel crime is less of an issue than they did a few years ago (The Globe and Mail). That’s why, all those new jails the Conservative government promises to build have to be filled with people such as those possessing marijuana – where, in other countries, they’re talking about decriminalization. (The Equivocator)

6 JUST THE COST OF DOING BUSINESS Yeah, people die in big numbers at Chinese factories that build IPads, IPhones, and IPods. So what? It’s China. Lots of people live there. Not like they’re going to run out of people any time soon. (New York Times)

YOUR MUSICAL MOMENT OF ZEN Bet you can’t listen just once. Montreal’s Elephant Stone, with the greatest song The Stone Roses never released: Love The Sinner, Hate The Sin.