Oh, We’ll Just See Who’s Crazy Around Here

And it’s time for another editing break! So, I’m getting slightly pummeled in this post’s comments for my shoot-from-the-lip, non-medical opinion that Oslo mass murderer Anders Behring Breivik is a loon, a kook, a nutter, a whack-job. Even prairie dog writers have forsaken me. Sure, this apparent lone gunman and bomber who quotes Ted Kaczynski supposedly found people and groups who shared some of his extremist political philosophies — of course these people are now disavowing him, not surprisingly. And sure, far right-wing groups and a culture of anti-immigrant hatred are threats to peaceful society. Let’s not downplay the soil of bigotry, unreason and sickness that this killer Norwegian daffodil sprouted in. It would be reckless to view this tragedy outside of its context.

But larger societal factors aside, Anders Behring Breivik is still a kook. Balanced people do not go to islands for two-hour, child-murder field trips. He’s nuts. It’s apparently not a popular opinion but I’m sticking to it. Besides, why would the fact that he’s cracked  mean he can’t be an evil conspiring terrorist, too? Can’t he be both?

While we’re on the subject, here are some other interesting people I propose be forever categorized as crazy. Feel free to disagree in comments.

MICHELE BACHMANN She’s a Republican presidential candidate married to a femmie-acting “therapist” who says he can cure homosexuals. She gets migraines from stress and causes them in others with inane pronouncements about the economy, morality and history.

FRED PHELPS He’s the head of the Westboro Baptist church (www.godhatesfags.com) which pickets soldiers’ funerals and calls Catholic priests “vampires”. Westboro also teaches that U.S. President Barack Obama is literally the Antichrist. With his square jaw and dead eyes, the elderly Phelps looks like an American Gothic-style  maniac from a 1970s slasher flick. When he dies there’s a 50-50 chance a posthumous video will reveal he was an atheist practical joker behind the greatest prank in history.

WILLIAM LYON MACKENZIE KING Canada’s prime minister for most of the period between 1921 and 1948 convened seances with the dead, communicating mostly with his mother and several pet dogs. There’s no such thing as ghosts. What a nut.

EURONYMOUS Deceased ’80s black metal singer Oystien Aarseth, AKA Euronymous, is a testament to the power of Google –one learns interesting things when ones searches for “crazy musicians”. After a bandmate killed himself with a shotgun, Euronymous allegedly ate a piece of his brain. He also made jewellery out of the skull bits. Euronymouswas murdered in 1993, dying as he’d lived — crazy. (“crazy” = “stabbed 25 times by an angry musician”.)

HAROLD BALLARD The longtime owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs can’t just have been a prick. Dick moves like trading Lanny McDonald and Darryl Sittler and basically destroying the team for more than a decade could only have been the result of undiagnosed neurochemical imbalance. If only poor Mr. Ballard had found the help he’d needed, his death migh not have been one of the most celebrated in Canadian history. Alas, he didn’t and good riddance R.I.P.

LINDSEY LOHAN Satan’s caterpillers fart in her brain.

MAXWELL KLINGER I’m not buying the act. That guy was legitimately bonkers. Why oh why wouldn’t they give the Korean war character the section 8 discharge he so obviously deserved?

WILLIAM SHATNER He’s crazy all right… crazy AWESOME!

That’s it for me today, off for one last coffee then back for lots more editing. See you tomorrow, and have a jolly Sunday night!

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth was carried to Regina in a swarm of bees. He's been with Prairie Dog since May 1999 and will die at his keyboard before admitting his career a terrible, terrible mistake.

6 thoughts on “Oh, We’ll Just See Who’s Crazy Around Here”

  1. Fred Phelps is not a nutter. He is a conman. His extended family, who make up his church, include some clever lawyers. The scam is to make some nutty statement and then picket in a way that is extremely offensive. When he is attacked or shut down, he then sues either the people who attacked him or the municipality for not protecting him or both. He and his family church make oodles of money with this scam.
    see here.

  2. That’s a fun theory but I see no proof. Given how prominent Westboro is, if it was pulling in the kind of money to make such a scheme feasible there’d be plenty of Internet ink about it. Doesn’t seem to be.

  3. Although I think all of those listed are perhaps crazy, Most of them are a relatively harmless kind of crazy. Thinking you’re talking to dead people or trading hockey players just doesn’t have the same sort of tragic consequences as shooting at teenagers at a camp or blowing up a government building. I do agree that he is completely off his rocker though. And no I don’t think it’s wrong to say so. I will say though that I have said many times that all Muslims are not terrorists, it’s a few crazy extremists. In the same way, not all Christians are terrorists. He is a right wing nut job. That’s not to say that there are none out there who are like him, just that the vast majority of people who identify themselves as Christians (I say that because truthfully, I think killing a bunch of people like this means you are in fact not a Christian at all) would NEVER do this. I also believe that the vast majority of Muslims would never crash planes into the World Trade Center. I’m not as familiar with their religion, but I’m guessing that this kind of behaviour violates one or more basic tenants of their faith and that most adherants of Islam would never do such a thing.

  4. Anyone else think this guy bears the scary dead-eyed resemblance to Jared Loughner?

    And for harmless crazy…this sure looks like fun!

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