Our intrepid editor Stephen Whitworth is on a well-earned vacation at the moment. A long one, too, but it hasn’t been so long that I don’t remember a time when he was still sitting at his desk in the office, pecking at his keyboard with two fingers.

I was poking through our movie listings when I noticed that our movie listings fella, Shane Hnetka, said that the new Wes Anderson, Moonrise Kingdom, would be opening in Regina on May 25, the day it was being released internationally.

That’s a level of optimism I simply can’t support. Whatever Hnetka’s source, I told Stephen, there’s no way we’d be getting that movie as soon as it opened. We’re going to be waiting at least a month.

Stephen stood up for his guy, saying that if Hnetka said it was going to open, it was going to open.

Here’s a text message conversation I had with Stephen on May 25 between 9:49 and 10:01 a.m., when I told him Moonrise Kingdom was not in fact showing in Regina:

Stephen Whitworth: HNETKAAAAAAAA!!! (I said that like James T. Kirk says “KHAAAAAN!!!”)

James Brotheridge: You mean stuck under miles of rock?

SW: Blankets. Basically the same. Oh and with impotent rage. My cat is Bones.

JB: Does this make me Spock, waiting in the ship and all?

SW: Well you are a smug fucker. So maybe.

JB: Who doesn’t quite understand emotional attachments.

SW: Let’s just hope my vacation doesn’t end with you taking a lethal dose of radiation to save prairie dog.

JB: I’m willing if it leads to prairie dog going back to the 80s to save some whales.

SW: Shane can do it.

To summarize a lot of Star Trek talk: I applaud Hnetka’s sunny attitude as to what new movies we can expect in Regina, but Moonrise Kingdom isn’t among them, for now at least.