Poor thing!

Police managed to whisk a 2-foot-long alligator into a box after a traveler spotted it under an escalator at O’Hare International Airport. The person made the bizarre discovery Friday in the lower level of Terminal 3, Police News Affairs Officer Hector Alfaro said. The unexpected trespasser was transferred to the care of the Chicago Herpetological Society. The 3-year-old American alligator, dubbed “Allie” by police, was still “in distress ’’ Sunday and was suffering from a metabolic bone deficiency, which likely means its diet was poor and lacked calcium for some time before it was found, according to a spokesman for the Chicago Herpetological Society.

Alligators are not pets. Well, okay, maybe, MAYBE,  if you have some kind of epic alligator-owner licence and you know what you’re doing and have the resources, you could, in theory, give a pet alligator a great life. But 99.99 per cent of people — including  you, me, Detroit Lions safety Louis Delmas and the dink who abandoned today’s headline-making snoogy-woogums — should not own alligators.

To conclude: DON’T GET A PET ALLIGATOR. Thank you.

Here’s a video of an adorable pet alligator.