"I want my money baaaaack!"

“I want my money baaaaack!”

Last night I had the terrible idea of catching up with The Last Exorcism Part II. Only six people at the theatre, two of which would leave before the end. Not because the film was scary, but because it was so bad, at times it was unwatchable.

Considering that the original was quite effective, the sequel’s utter failure is a bit of a surprise. Here is everything that went wrong with The Last Exorcism Part II.

– It abandons the first person shooter motiv of the original.

– It fully relies in the Nell character, the most passive one of Part I.

– Protagonist Ashley Bell’s main skill is to arch her back.

– Underuses New Orleans as a location and attempts a sad recreation of Mardi Gras.

– The plot is non existent: Nell lands in a foster home, feels paranoid, finds a reason to feel paranoid, gets an exorcism. The end.

– There are no actual scares in the entire film. Sharp cuts only gets you so far.

– The actual exorcism lasts two minutes tops. And it’s performed by extras.

– Original director Daniel Stamm moved on to bigger (and hopefully better) things. Enter Ed Gass-Donnelly, a filmmaker whose main credit is the Fargo knock-off Small Town Murder Songs.

The Last Exorcism Part II costed eight million dollars to make. Even though it bombed in its first weekend, it made the money back. Anything else is gravy.  The movie had the support of Eli Roth, who seems to endorse things like Krusty the Clown.