4 in the Afternoon1 CANADIAN NEWS ROUND-UP The feds say an environmental assessment on that proposed pipeline must be completed by December 2013 “because reasons” while the proposed pipeline’s overlords promise to be awesome and stuff, the leader of the Parti Quebecois promises to reverse those super popular Quebec tuition hikes, the federal Conservatives’ lawyer say it’s too late to present new robocalls evidence nyah nyah nyah, speaking of eels (ha! segue!), there’s endangered ones in the Ottawa river and Justin Bieber is an idiot but wow, he has ridiculously gracious, understanding and reasonable critics.

2 SASKATCHEWAN NEWS ROUND-UP An abused child has died in a Regina hospital and it’s awful and the parents caregivers have been charged. Also, Saskatchewan has the West Nile virus and record numbers of tornadoes and double stabbings and fringe festivals. Oh and the NDP says the government’s quarterly budget update sucks.

3 SYRIA NEWS ROUND-UP Yesterday, Kofi Annan resigned as the UN envoy to Syria. Today the UN passed a resolution condemning the Assad regime for using tanks and artillery against the city of Aleppo.  Also, is Russia up to something with the troops and warships it’s docking in Syria? Weird. Assad’s not going to be in power a couple years from now. Why back the losing side?

4 THIS CHIK FIL-A THING IS HILARIOUS As you might know, thousands of outraged bigots bought chicken sandwiches at an anti-gay U.S. fast food joint called (giggle!) Chick Fil-A (snort! Guffaw!) to show their support for discrimination against this week. Whadda bunch of putzicles. Why not just waltz around in public wearing T-shirts saying “LOOK AT ME, I’M A MORON WITH EMBARRASSING HANG-UPS”? It’d accomplish the same thing — telegraphing your stupidity to everyone who’s not an imbecile. Anyway, today’s news is that there’s a national same-sex kiss-in at Chick Fil-A. That’s GREAT! I am a little worried someone’ll get killed by malignant gay-bashing teabag troglodytes, though. It’ll probably be okay though. More here.

I love this story, by the way. It’s the funniest news story of the year. Will post more on it (as opposed to moron it) later if I have time.

Hey, let’s have a video! Here’s an animation thingy of a book I’m looking forward to buying.