(This post has been revised.)

Any unpleasant surprises under the tree? Get anything you hated or thought was stupid, but had to pretend you loved it? You’re not alone. And Garfunkel And Oates have the song for you.

Speaking of Present Face, here’s mine. One of my Enemies gave me this book for Christmas (he also conspired with his girlfriend to give me a stocking full of sardines because he thinks he’s funny). The Urantia Book has “comprehensive answers to age-old questions about the nature and personality of God, the life and teachings of Jesus, the relationship between science and religion, spiritual living, and much more.” Oh goody. So here’s my present face.