1. WAS BRITISH PRIME MINISTER DAVID CAMERON ONCE A POTHEAD WHO PUT HIS PENIS IN A PIG’S SEVERED HEAD? Well? Was he? This is a serious question.
2. BIG BLACKOUT IN REGINA One woman was stuck in a hotel elevator. She and the elevator are both all right.
3. EMISSION TEST MONKEYSHINES: VOLKSWAGON VERKLEMPT “I personally am deeply sorry that we have broken the trust of our customers and the public,” says VW chief Martin Winterkorn. I bet. Here’s the Canadian angle.
4. F-35? EFF THAT Justin Trudeau says the Liberals will bail on Canada’s F-35 purchase. Prime Minister Stephen Harper says Trudeau doesn’t understand “the way these things work”. The trillion-dollar F-35 is the world’s most expensive weapons system but it can’t beat 40-year-old planes in air combat. Also, the Harper Government has played fast and loose with the plane’s true costs, which are approaching $50 billion. And that’s not the only scandal: in 2010, SOMEone removed criticism from the F-35’s Wikipedia page from a Department Of Defence computer.
5. MORE ABOUT DAVID CAMERON’S PENIS’ ALLEGED INTERACTION WITH A PIG’S SEVERED HEAD “And so we find ourselves enjoying arguably the greatest day in British history,” says Vice’s Joel Golby. Indeed.
6. RCMP BRING NACHOS TO LUMSDEN-AREA PARTY Also: salsa.
8. FORMER NHL ENFORCER TODD EWEN KILLED HIMSELF Not all the hockey news is good.
9. MILEY CYRUS STICKS UP FOR WOLVES The pop star visited British Columbia’s Great Bear Rainforest this weekend after she was told to “stick to twerking” by BC Premier Christy Clark. Cyrus has criticized BC’s wolf cull, which the province says is needed to protect critically endangered caribou herds. A study says the herds are in decline due to habitat destruction caused by logging, oil and gas drilling, pipelines and road construction.
10. WHAT IF IT WASN’T DAVID CAMERON’S PENIS IN THAT PIG’S SEVERED HEAD? The Daily Mail story that started this rumour doesn’t specifically say “penis”. It says, “…the future PM inserted a private part of his anatomy into the animal’s mouth.” Did Cameron teabag that pig head?
11. SOURCES DISMISS “PM’S PENIS IN PIG’S SEVERED HEAD” REPORT That’s just what you’d expect them to do.
12. ANY EXCUSE TO TYPE “PIG’S SEVERED HEAD AT THIS POINT Vox has published a #PigGate Explainer. It should answer any remaining questions. Aside from “is this really true?” That, we might never know.