Daily Aggregation: FAK Returns!

daily-aggregation-21. A CROSS-COUNTRY NEWS JAMBOREE Quebec has the measles, former Conservative MP Vic Toews might have a scandal, a federal Conservative is acting all retro witch-hunty but instead of bashing commies she’s flinging McCarthy-style slime at Muslims and the RCMP are going after the Ontario Provincial Police Association for a bunch of alleged crooked-ass shit. In unrelated news science has discovered fossils of ancient human-sized lobster-like things.

2. HOUSE PRICES ARE COMING DOWN Well, there’s a big, hairy hock and a half.

3. UNEMPLOYMENT IS UP IN SASKATCHEWAN The province’s economic tide ebbs. Ebbs, I say. Well technically not me but Stats Canada.

4. SASKATOON ALSO LIKES DESTROYING HERITAGE People in the province are totally nuts. Are the business/libertarian/conservative types that wreck heritage buildings scared there’s socialism in beautiful old bricks?

5. GLOBAL NEWS TSUNAMI Global CO2 emissions stalled last year (!!!), Ikea closes its Russian website because Russia’s gone all bigoty, Germany says it’s not feuding with Greece, I don’t even want to write about this Middle Eastern horror and A PENIS HAS BEEN TRANSPLANTED. Also, Jupiter’s moon Ganymede has an underground ocean which could mean IT’S ALIIIIVE, IT LIIIIIVES.

FRIDAY AFTERNOON KITTY! Jeez I couldn’t even tell you when the last time I put one of these up was. Another Whitworth failure. Classic. Well, let’s get back on the horse.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth was carried to Regina in a swarm of bees. He's been with Prairie Dog since May 1999 and will die at his keyboard before admitting his career a terrible, terrible mistake.

3 thoughts on “Daily Aggregation: FAK Returns!”

  1. (1) Vic Toews may have a scandal, but he certainly doesn’t have a link.
    (4) What is socialistic about a business block that was built near the end of the wheat boom in the early 20th Century?
    (5) The horror you don’t want to write about includes the comments on the article.
    In re: the penis transplant: a traditional S.A. circumcision led to the initial amputation, but the new penis is uncircumcised. Problem?

  2. 3) Unemployment may be up in Saskatchewan but still the lowest in Canada. We should be very proud of our province Stephen! Don`t you agree?

  3. 3) Unemployment may be up in Saskatchewan but still the lowest in Canada. We should be very proud of our province Stephen!

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