Wow, it’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these things. Well, I’ve been busy, okay? Things to do! People to meet! Newspapers to edit! Beer to drink! Let’s see if I still remember how they work. Onward!
1. OPPOSITION PARTY OPPOSES AIR WAR AGAINST ISLAMIC STATE Read all about it. Nevertheless, planes will soon be on the way. Here’s the key things you should know. The Associated Press reports air strikes are hurting Islamic State forces, but Malcolm Fraser writes in The Guardian that an air campaign without ground troops is pointless, saying, “The commander in chief of what is meant to be the greatest democracy in the world has gone to war with the worst strategic understanding of any commander in chief in history.”
2. STUDYING TERRORISM The Conservatives commission five research projects on domestic terrorism. Okay, sounds like a good idea, but aren’t the Tories afraid this research might produce sociological evidence?
4. REGINA MEN ASSAULTED Two of them have life-threatening injuries.
5. SHOTS FIRED AT REGINA HOUSE What did that house ever do to anyone?
6. VIOLENT AND AVOIDABLE DEATHS The coroner’s reports from the Lac-Megantic train disaster is grim.
7. FOOTBALL FIREWORK SET-UP FACES CHANGES Because fires are bad and safety is good.
8. TATER TAMPERING? Is some fucker fucking with Atlantic Canada’s spuds? A potato probe is underway.
9. FIRST U.S. EBOLA PATIENT DIES Thomas Eric Duncan has passed away in Texas.
10. IF YOU LIKE CATS, DON’T READ THIS All I can say is, I’m glad the cat killer is in jail but 10 months seems too short for someone who seems to me like a danger to society.
11. BLOOD MOON! It was apparently quite pretty.
12. HOCKEY STARTS TONIGHT! HOCKEY STARTS TONIGHT! My team, the Blue Jackets, don’t play until tomorrow, though. The poor Jackets have just been clobbered by injuries: top-line wingers Boone Jenner (learn that name!) and Naton Horton are out, and now the team’s heart-and-soul second-line centre, Brandon Dubinsky, is out for six weeks. Yikes.
CTHULUPILLAR HUNGERS! What is this thing? It’s terrifying. Ah, I see it was a successful Kickstarter. Also I need this book.