Mystery Solved

After several concrete bollards on City Square plaza were damaged on Saturday night at an estimated cost of $5,000-$10,000, Regina Police Service issued a press release Monday morning asking anyone with information on the crime, or who had noticed suspicious activity on the plaza that night, to contact either police or Crimestoppers.

Turns out, the police had actually been dispatched to the plaza on Saturday at 10:32 p.m. in response to a call from a concerned citizen about a red pick-up truck smashing into the bollards. When the police arrived, they found the truck unattended, but soon located the intoxicated driver in nearby Victoria Park.

According to this CBC report, he’ll be in court on May 15. As for why it took several days for police to realize that a crime they were investigating had already been solved, well, I’ll leave it to Led Zeppelin to explain.

Author: Gregory Beatty

Greg Beatty is a crime-fighting shapeshifter who hatched from a mutagenic egg many decades ago. He likes sunny days, puppies and antique shoes. His favourite colour is not visible to your inferior human eyes. He refuses to write a bio for this website and if that means Whitworth writes one for him, so be it.

8 thoughts on “Mystery Solved”

  1. Why does every media in the city insist on calling this one a “mystery”? How is this more of a “mystery” than any other crime or summary offence (misdemeanor)? An offence was committed, an investigation was pursued, a guilty party was apprehended. Furthermore, “mystery” seems like it should be reserved for light & airy pranks, like pink flamingos in someone’s front yard on their 40th birthday, not brute force, bull-in-a-china-shop drunken negligence such as this. “Ohh la la, c’est un mystère, cela…”

  2. P.S. Great disappointment among the law & order ppl that this wasn’t perpetrated by #OccupyRegina

  3. Postquam-post-scriptum: If a member of #Occupy has been found guilty of this damage, they’d be calling for the death penalty and suspension of all civil liberties (“Can we afford freedom if it comes at such a cost? They just ruined it for the rest of us, is all”) but since it was just some adult (credible) drunk (as long as he wasn’t high on marijuana) in a truck (manly) it’s okay and we can all forget this ever happened.

    Am I right, people?

  4. PPPS: Correction: “…HAD been found guilty…”

    Sorry to waste all your paper with my posts. Wait a minute, I’m not using paper…what’s the problem then?

  5. PPPPS – In conclusion, it’s my hunch that even though RPS had their drunken, non-anarchist in custody, some silly monkey wanted to pin this on #Occupy or at the very least, hold-outs from the now seemingly defunct Transport 2000 “bring-passenger-rail-service-back-to-Regina” Prairie Group, and put out the plea for assistance from the public. It would be interesting to know if they received any “tips”.

  6. Really? Am I protesting? Racking up 5 posts was kind of the point, satirizing our forced need for “decorum” and “restraint”. Satire and comedy is at the heart of mostly everything I do, tho I realize I live at odds with the mentality of our times.

    I recently read someone progressive call most documentary films and their festivals “witless” no-fun affairs, and I completely agreed with him.

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