Well, Canadian voters sure fucked it up. Last night’s election results were terrible for this country, which is likely to be badly and maybe irreparably harmed during the next four years.
Shitty, eh? Yeah!
Unfortunately, a ton of people in Saskatchewan also voted Conservative. Fifty-six per cent of the province’s voters backed the Cons. Which, sadly, proves our province is largely the dumbfuck redneck playground those of us with public platforms have been delicately avoiding saying in print for years. Well, no point in pretending anymore. The hicks are amok. Gotta call hick like it is.
Having said that, take heart! There are tens of thousands of people in this province who did NOT vote Conservative.
Now I know that a lot of these brave, smart, friendly, funny and talented not-Conservative Saskatchewanians woke up, looked in the mirror and asked themselves why they should stay in this hateful place.
Here’s my morning message to those of you about ready to book moving vans:
Please stay! You’re not alone! There are so many Saskatchewanians who feel the same disgust and nausea at last night’s horrible election result. Don’t move away from Saskatchewan on account of idiots. There are idiots everywhere in Canada. And you already have friends and allies here.
Your stupid Conservative-voting co-workers, family, customers, clients and other toxic influences can be (mostly) ignored–you don’t have to talk to the idiots and jackasses who voted for Tom Lukiwski or Maurice Vellacott or Brad Trost. You can talk to people like us! Shit, you’ve got a whole magazine here that feels the same way about the Conservatives you do.
Let’s double-down on our friendships and make our own community stronger!
Plus, now that we’re officially not pretending we live in a nice place, we can have a lot of fun! Think of the the pranks! The demonstrations! The gleeful shenanigans!
It’s going to be a very interesting four years. Do not despair, my frightened, angry, not-Conservative friends. You are the best of this place!
We love you!
Right! back to work!