Best Press Release Ever

You fine folks in Regina may not know–or care–that Saskatoon is having a by-election for one of our City Council seats in the near future (because really, why should you?). However, this press release from Ward 7 candiate Patrick Thomson (which you’ll see just below my original commments on the Planet S magazine blog), discussing his disappointment with the media after not one reporter showed up at the press conference announcing his candidacy, are simply too much fun not to share. Really — if you can find a better bit of wit from a politician, I’d love to hear about it. /Chris Kirkland


First of all, I’d like to apologize to Pat Thomson–who is a seriously cool guy–for not being at his press conference. (In our defence, all our writers are freelancers and no one could get away from their day jobs, and I was at a board meeting, but still, we clearly suck just as much as the mainstream media in this particular instance — although I might mention that they (hello, StarPhoenix, Rawlco, CTV, CBC — you know who you are!) have roughly 1,000 times the resources that Planet S does. Sigh.)

Secondly, this is definitely the best press release I’ve ever see from a political candidate since the sad demise of the much-missed Rhinoceros Party–at any level of government! Check it out below–especially if you live in Ward 7! Kudos, Pat!

For Immediate Release

Thomson Lashes Out at Media for Skipping His Press Conference

Patrick Thomson, a candidate in the Ward 7 by-election, was understandably upset when not a single member of the media attended his press conference, saying “seriously guys, Jim Pankiw invites you to the Sheraton to tell you that he’s a racist drunk who doesn’t like you and you flock to him like moths to a flame. I call a conference to discuss important issues facing our city, I sweeten the deal with beer and nachos, and you’re nowhere to be found. What a bunch of dicks! Get your priorities in order!”

Mr. Thomson, whose conference was scheduled for 12:30, Wednesday January 12th at the Crazy Cactus Pub, went on to state “I wanted to talk about how overspending, and suburban over-development are hurting our city, and share my carefully reasoned approach to mandatory recycling, instead I sat at a table by myself, with only my sign for company. I had to drink a whole pitcher of beer to myself, and then go door knocking. How do you think that went?”

He then whispered defeatedly, “I even made press packs.”

If anyone would like further comment or some cold nachos Mr. Thomson can be reached at 881-8683, or


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Author: Chris Kirkland

Chris Kirkland is the editor of Planet S magazine in Saskatoon. He likes cats, beer, cigarettes and the New York Islanders.

8 thoughts on “Best Press Release Ever”

  1. I want to know who’s advising Thomson on his communications because this was simply brilliant. Input one sow’s ear and – voila! – on silk purse.

  2. @ Malcolm. He advises himself i am pretty sure. I have had the pleasure of working with him for two summers. He is a brilliant man. He should be elected. I would have to start going to council meetings just to hear him talk.

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