Aw NFL Naw: Costumed Millionaires Will Show Us The Way (Week 5)

image courtesy of newarama.com

Aw NFL Naw is back for Week 5. Time permitting, there will be a dazzling analysis of Michel Foucalt’s The Order of Things in the second half of this column. Or I’ll go on a ramble about Secret Princes. (Shh! Don’t tell anyone that the rich men surrounded by a camera crew may not be all that they seem.)

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Aw NFL Naw: Yes, That Is A Nada Surf Video Screencap. Yes, I’m A Colossal Pussy (Week 4)

Welcome to the Prairie Dog‘s┬áPulitzer┬áPrize winning XFL recap Aw XFL Naw: your #1 source for details on the Memphis Maniax, New York/New Jersey Hitmen and every team in between. Now with extra Jim Druckenmiller analysis!

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Aw NFL Naw: Fuck You A Baby Story, You Don’t Need To Be On Every Weekday (Week 3)

It’s Week 3. Join me after the jump for the usual hodgepodge of swears, poorly formed analogies and nude pictures of all your favourite celebrities. (Including former UK Prime Minister John Major!) Plus football junk! Continue reading “Aw NFL Naw: Fuck You A Baby Story, You Don’t Need To Be On Every Weekday (Week 3)”

Aw NFL Naw: Don’t Give Papa John The Satisfaction (Week 2)


image courtesy of IMDB

Week 1’s come and gone. Hopes were raised, dreams were crushed and Brandon Weeden got trapped underneath an American flag because that’s the sort of thing that happens when you’re the quarterback of the Cleveland Browns. It’s great to have football back. Week 2 of Aw NFL Naw/Lt. Washboard’s Discount Soda Review Roundup is after the jump.

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Aw NFL Naw: The Returninging (Week 1)

In the proud 21st century tradition of unnecessary sequels, Aw NFL Naw has returned for the 2012 NFL season. (/pauses for the reader to make a dismissive jerk off motion) Yes, it is exciting stuff! It’s the same sort of thing as last time: Swears! Typos! Veiled Threats At Big Soda! Plus this year there’s an outside chance that I’ll turn this column into a RuPaul’s Drag Race (All Stars) discussion fiesta starting in October. It would have been a lock if Willam was selected for All Stars, but here we are.

Come join in the merriment after the jump.

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Aw NFL Naw: Turning Postseason Dreams Into Misery Paste (Week 17)

Week 17 (the final week of the regular season and of my probation) kicks off this Sunday. Aw NFL Naw is ready for you after the jump with half-formed analysis and the laziest semen-based jokes in the Western Hemisphere. If your team has failed to make the playoffs, you’re allowed to skip this week’s column and spend 30 minutes using MS Paint. Please mail in your results if you choose to go the MS Paint route. Please make something that isn’t a penis or something that promotes race hate. MS Paint has been abused that way for far too long.

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Aw NFL Naw: I’m On A Multifaith Holiday Break Spectacular (Week 16)

Hello Dog Pals, I’m currently in the process of traveling to Regina for a multifaith holiday break spectacular. As a result, there will be no Aw NFL Naw this week. You can easily create a substitute column out of swears, quarterback names and pop culture curios you have laying around your house. Or you can just tweet me concerning an NFL-based issue and I will respond promptly and provide some sort of convoluted reference to the show Pepper Ann. In the place of hardhitting football talk, please accept this So So Def remix of Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.

Is this the best Christmas song of all time? Feel free to discuss the issue in the comments or write your MP about it. If you have a good MP, he or she will reply with: “No, “This Christmas” by Donny Hathaway is clearly the best Christmas tune to ever grace the Earth. You’re silly to think otherwise.”

Aw NFL Naw: Gatorade Bath Of Egg Nog Because It’s The Holidays (Week 15)

The playoffs are on the horizon and we’re at the point of the season where I can post a picture of Lawrence Taylor sharing a ring with Bam Bam Bigelow. I’m not sure why now is the time I would like to include the picture, but here we are. Come join in the magic after the jump.

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Aw NFL Naw: A Column Now Found Inside Boxes Of Mandarin Oranges (Week 14)

Both Donovan McNabb and I are unemployed. We have quite the bond. You don’t have to be unemployed to read this week’s Aw NFL Naw, just check it out after the jump.

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Aw NFL Naw: Special Guest Star Edition & It Isn’t Markie Post Although I Did Ask Her (Week 13)

We’re now in Week 13 (the most 13 Dead End Drive friendly week of the season) and edging ever so closely into the whimsical world of almost-the-playoffs NFL football. Thanks Valhalla. Not only is that funtastic (a word I made up and now realize looks like a level 6 fungal infection), but this week I was able to wrangle in a special guest correspondent to talk about the Grey Cup Football Showdown Championship Playground Sponsored By Rona. So put on your reading goggles and check it out after the jump.

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Aw NFL Naw: Run Up The Score Up The Flagpole (Week 9)

Image courtesy of danielvol4.blogspot.com and a panicky Google Image Search.

I’m currently in Toronto and it appears they do sell milk in bags. (Hey Toronto! Put it in a jug, you urban hillbillies!) I’m going to drink some bagged wine to steady myself and get to Aw NFLing for Week 9 after the jump. (Jump!)

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Aw NFL Naw: Blood On The Clipboard (Week 7)

Photo Courtesy of EastBay.com and Dad Rage

We’re in Week 7 and Aw NFL Naw has not shifted formats into a weekly think piece on how Pepsi Blue could have been a success. I’m as surprised as you. Let’s talk about the National Football League and our inner most secrets after the jump.

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