Art Contest

Hey, check this out. I call it “Dragon Don’t Fight That Volcano No More”. It’s a statement on the universal human condition.

The best comment on the post will receive the original signed copy of this one-of-a-kind work, done in the finest Sharpie on premium Xerox commercial-grade printer paper.

Author: Aidan Morgan

Aidan is a very serious man who's saving up for a nice dignified pipe. Then we'll see who's laughing.

18 thoughts on “Art Contest”

  1. I don’t know what to say except the idea of a dragon being pissed at and fighting a volcano cracks me up! Kinda like a cat fighting a ball of thread, but on a much larger scale. The animate/non-living object doesn’t care, and in this case it’s like fighting a blast furnace with gasoline. You can’t win and your using the wrong “weapon” silly since it only feeds your poorly chosen enemy – who again, has no opinion of the whole crazy situation! The dragon just woke-up one day and said, “Grrrr, me hates me that damn volcano, must burn & kill!” LMAO! And what’s with the moon?

  2. I’d say the huge dragon really needs to retake Geology 101- that is by no means the landform for a caldera, at best, it is a marginal cinder cone.

    A caldera is a collapse feature formed after a major under ground eruption of magma leaves a void, and is caused by subsidence.

    The moon is laughing.

  3. Volcano, you can’t covet dragon wings. Dragon, you can’t covet the inanimate volcano, made of the earth, just like you.


  4. Dragon, you so crazy. That volcano is dead.

    (I only know this because Mr Katie and I were having a hot and heavy Friday night last week reading the Wikipedia pages on volcanoes…What?)

  5. Fine. I see I’ve been scooped, so I respectfully submit the following:


    (Hey, like Calvin says, if it’s funny the first time, it’s funny every time.)

  6. Why is everyone so Literal? What if that was Puff, the Magic Dragon, who lived by the sea? What if the Volcano in indicative of the current Japanese Nuclear meltdown & Puff is trying to Save the People? Giant monsters alternately Destroying and/or Saving Tokyo has a History…

  7. When the moon hits the guy who’s a big dragon-fly
    That’s Remoray!

    When a mountain explodes and goes up in your nose
    That’s Remoray!

    Bells will ring, tingalingaling, tingalingusing, tingalingaling
    Veda bella

    She’s a bitch who would ditch her own mom
    Just to fuck Drake Remoray!

  8. I remember one time when Volcano and Dragon fought. That was a dark time, indeed. Treeline got into it and was all “Hey, why you no play nice?” and then Moon told them all to shut up, which just made Dragon mad. So Dragon curse at Moon, who tell on him to Unicorn. Volcano hated Unicorn though, and smothered Unicorn in lava. Unicorn die. So Dragon go “Hey I did no like him either. We should be friends” but Volcano laugh and said “I no like you either. Friends? Ha! I get you too, Dragon!” and they fight and fight until, one night, Dragon go sleep. And moon come down and trap Dragon between Moon and Treeline and be all “You no fight! Fight bad!” and Dragon called Treeline bad names and escape and fight more. So then they fight until no more cupcake. They had cupcake, did I mention cupcake? they had. But then no more!

    It was terrible.

    Also: no more cupcake!

  9. I will dream of this dragon scene tonight except in my dreams, that dragon will be Elizabeth May, and the volcano will be suit-wearing boringness, and the title will be DRAGON DON’T YOU EVER QUIT FIGHTING THAT VOLCANO AND WHILE YOU’RE AT IT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHERE I CAN GET ONE OF THOSE LOW-FLUSH TOILETS FOR LESS THAN SEVEN HUNDRED BUCKS BECAUSE THERE’S NO WAY I’M SPENDING SEVEN HUNDRED BUCKS ON A BUTTCAN. EVEN A REALLY REALLY NICE ECO-BUTTCAN.

  10. Silly volcano, you can’t fight fire with fire.

    Also: if you can’t stand the heat, get out of the caldera. (Er – or should I say “marginal cindercone”? At first I thought I read “magical cindercone” (the text is so small on my phone); to be honest, I kinda liked that better…the magical part I mean, not the small text. Clearly.).

  11. Well, it’s no ‘Bear Holding Shark,’ but it does have a ‘Trogdor:The Burninator’ vibe about it. I give it an 8.

  12. when my four year old draws on his magnadoodle, and he creates zombies kidnapping his sister, i wonder “where did THAT come from, and is it somehow b/c of my genetics?” we, the artist and i, are not genetically linked – that i know of – but, respectfully, here i feel the same!

  13. steve – I’m pretty sure we’re not related. But I’m flattered to hear that I can come up with something that carries the same coolness quotient as sister-kidnapping zombies.

    Of course, it’s probably more of an accomplishment for a four year old than it is for a thirty nine year old.

  14. A long time ago when the earth was new and The People were young, there was a terrible lizard named Lyadra. When the Moon Qamar would grow fat and fill the night with silver, Lyadra would come from her land in the east, and would battle the Great Volcano Fasisteo for the right to rule fire.

    The People would be fearful of the Silver Moon Qamar as it grew, and they would hide in their caves safe beneath the earth when it hung fat in the sky. And the wind would blow wickedly across the land, sped on by the beating of Lyadra’s monstrous wings. And the spirits would moan in a chilling chorus to announce Lyadra’s approach. And the Silver Moon Qamar would watch the wind blow and hear the spirits moan and would judge silently as the Terrible Lizard Lyadra fought the Great Volcano Fasisteo for the right to rule fire.

    This continued for many seasons until at last, Fasisteo was defeated and fell silent, its fire stolen away by the Terrible Lizard Lyadra. And as the Silver Moon Qamar again grew fat in the night sky, The People were afraid of Lyadra’s return. They did not want to fight the terrible lizard for the right to rule fire. So when the Silver Moon Qamar was full over the land, and when the wind began to blow and the spirits began to moan, The People extinguished all their fires and hid in their caves deep beneath the earth. And as they waited for the coming of the Terrible Lizard Lyadra, they prayed for the spirits to stop her, saying “Dragon, don’t fight that volcano no more”.

    But there was no battle beneath the gaze of the Silver Moon Qamar that night. When the sun rose and The People emerged from their caves, they saw that the tree line was full and rich at the base of the Great Volcano Fasisteo. And they realized that just as the Terrible Lizard Lyadra had won the right to rule fire, the Great Volcano Fasisteo had won the right to rule land.

    There would be no more battles between Lyadra and Fasisteo, and The People had a great feast to celebrate. And that is why they painted this on the walls of their caves, to tell the story of the Terrible Lizard Lyadra and the Great Volcano Fasisteo, and how they fought beneath the gaze of the Silver Moon Qamar for the right to rule fire.

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