It’s well known that the City of Regina hates trees and sidewalks, but less well-documented is the ancient grudge it bears against asphalt. Even as I type, mobile jackhammer devices are tearing up 12th Avenue between Lorne and Scarth Streets like demented Robotech woodpeckers. Meanwhile a destruction-starved backhoe pulls up slab after slab of pavement.

Sure, they claim to have a plan, but I get the feeling that we’re on the verge of a narrow northward band of destruction that won’t stop until they hit Melfort. Here is the true Revitalizing Downtown Plan.

When asked for comment, the city’s Department of Wizards only pulled their hoods down tighter over their faces and glided off down Scarth in that unnerving way they have.