1 MASSIVE BANK COMPLAINS ABOUT LOST OIL COMPANY REVENUES I feel like I’ve been saying this for years, which is especially depressing because I’m only 24, but maybe this is why it’s a really, really bad idea to try and hinge your entire economy and most of your government policy on the withdrawal and sale of resources that fluctuate wildly in price, availability, and social acceptability? Like, if the construction of a single pipeline in a foreign nation is a make-or-break deal for your budget, then holy shit, maybe it’s time you learned the word “foresight.”
2 FLORIDA: WHERE “WHAT IS THIS WATER STUFF?” IS AN ACTUAL QUESTION Remember how Orson Welles caused mass panic with his War of the Worlds radio programme? This is sort of like that, if Orson Welles was a morning DJ, and if instead of people being confused by the presentation of a fictional program on a relatively new medium of mass communication they were upset by science words and forgot that it was April Fool’s Day.
3 MIXED MARTIAL CON ARTIST A Saskatoon man won MMA bouts while on worker’s compensation.
4 BEFORE YOU GET THE WRONG IDEA This NPR piece on America’s disability claims crisis has been around for a little over a week, but man, is it ever worth reading. (Also, layout dork alert: NPR really, really gets how to make a webpage read like a particularly excellent magazine.)
5 EVRAZ PLACE WORKERS MIGHT STRIKE Unfortunately, we don’t really know much more than that. I’m just wondering aloud here, but do you think that when daily papers cover potential strike action, is there any kind of obligation to actually provide context for each party’s claims, or is it just enough to say “here’s the union, here’s the bosses, here’s someone affected by the strike, cool, job done”? And we wonder why private unions’ stock has fallen so much in the last few decades.
6 CHRIS WARE IS NOW ON TUMBLR Goodbye to your productivity today, especially if your name is Stephen Whitworth.