Desperate, Pathetic And Sad

We’re less than two hours from spring’s arrival and it’s been snowing all day. Please indulge me while I anthropomorphize a season:

I just think it’s really sad that Winter feels it needs to make a big show on its last day. Do you really think you’re fooling anyone, Winter? You’re done at 5:21 p.m. Finished. Kaput. But here you are, blowing snow around in a tragic and embarrassing “look at me! Look at me!” display of insecurity.

Look Winter, we get it. You like it here. But everybody’s sick of you. You have to leave. But no. Instead of showing a little class, you act like the annoying roommate who leaves a mess everywhere–all this snow that Spring’s going to have to clean up.

You suck, Winter. Scram!

P.S.: It was shitty of you to cloud things up so no one could see Supermoon last night. Jerk.

Author: Stephen Whitworth

Prairie Dog editor Stephen Whitworth was carried to Regina in a swarm of bees. He's been with Prairie Dog since May 1999 and will die at his keyboard before admitting his career a terrible, terrible mistake.

One thought on “Desperate, Pathetic And Sad”

  1. It’s funny that spring supposedly arrives on the prairies the same day it officially arrives in Miami, New Orelans, Los Angeles, Vancouver, etc. Or in Yellowknife for that matter. We should probably have a geographically-adjusted variable thing, so for Sask, say March 20 (+14) meaning April 3, while Miami could be March 20 (-40).

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