Elon Musk poops on CBC while rude icebergs prowl the Atlantic
What Just Happened? | Stephen Whitworth
Welcome to another instalment of What Just Happened?, Saskatchewan’s relentlessly neutral, famously restrained and overall sagacious survey of recent events.
TUESDAY, APRIL 16: MUSK VS CBC
In a move cheered by Conservative leader Pierre Poilievre, Twitter adds a “Government-funded Media” tag to CBC’s main account today. Critics say the tag is misleading because it incorrectly implies the Canadian government influences the public broadcaster’s content, which is not true. Poilievre, a right-wing politician who literally has the word “lie” in the middle of his last name, said of Twitter’s move, “Now people know that it is Trudeau propaganda, not news.”
According to multiple reports including an April 12 National Post story and his own tweets, Poilievre had personally asked Twitter owner and chaos gremlin Elon Musk to slap the tag on CBC.
It’s no surprise, sadly. The federal Conservatives have for years hammered CBC with meretricious and self-serving charges of bias and called for its defunding. Worse, conservatives are irresponsibly throwing this tantrum at a time when newsrooms across Canada are closing with terrifying frequency, compromising Canadians’ access to factually accurate information.
THURSDAY 20: TWITTER 0, CBC 1
Without comment, Twitter removes the “government-funded media” tag it had earlier placed on CBC’s account. CBC nevertheless continues suspension of its Twitter activity.
THURSDAY 27: GROWTH THAT DOESN’T WORK
News breaks that the Saskatchewan Party government sent social media user Iain MacDonald a Twitter DM claiming copyright infringement and demanding he delete a tweet mocking the party’s “Growth That Works For Everyone” campaign. MacDonald had tweeted the campaign’s logo and slogan, but with added text to say, “Growth that works for everyone who donates to the Saskatchewan Party”. The Sask. Party’s demand predictably sparked a flurry of similar parodies across social media, as well as criticism arguing the government’s demand was nonsense and an insult to free speech.
Leader-Post and StarPhoenix political columnist Murray Mandryk pointed out the double standard: “Wasn’t “free speech” the justification from the Sask. Party and federal Conservatives defending the so-called “Freedom Convoy” when both were skirting around the issues of public nuisance and obstructionism?” he asked in his column.
FRIDAY 28: A TALL, COLD ONE
CBC reports sightings of a penis-shaped iceberg near Dildo, Newfoundland. Yes, I know everyone already heard about this but I’m inserting it here for the historical record.
SATURDAY 29: PEDAGOGICAL PROTEST
Around 3,000 (organizer estimate) Saskatchewan teachers, school staff, students, parents and supporters turned out at the Provincial Legislature to protest Saskatchewan government underfunding. The large rally was notable for having the look and scale of something from the 1980s, when thousands turned out to tell the conservative Grant Devine government that it sucked.
SATURDAY 29: DEAD BOLTS
The Toronto Maple Leafs win their first playoff series since 2004, defeating archnemesis Tampa Bay in six games. Surely great things lie ahead!
SUNDAY 30: NEIGHBOUR DRAMA
Alberta kicks off its provincial election campaign today. Albertans will choose between Premier and United Conservative Party leader Danielle Smith and former NDP premier and well-documented sane person Rachel Notley. As this paper goes to press, Smith has apologized for comparing vaccinated Albertans to mindless followers of Hitler. Notley has faced her own controversies, though. Public intellectual and former Calgary Flames star Theo Fleury sounds this warning on Twitter: “If she [Smith] doesn’t win, Alberta is finished and Canada becomes a communist shithole. Climate lockdowns and 15-minute cities will be first, then [Rachel Notley] will go door to door jabbing you with gain of function bio-weapons. Get out and vote like your life depends on it.” Gee. Notley or the lunatic-endorsed candidate who says vaccinated people are like Nazis? Voters sure face a tough choice.
MONDAY, MAY 1: LIGHTFOOT, HEAVY HEART
Rest in peace, Gordon Lightfoot.
MONDAY, MAY 8: LOTTO FLOPPO
The Columbus Blue Jackets (“the Official NHL Team of What Just Happened”) fell to third place in the 2023 NHL draft lottery today. The Jackets will therefore miss out on the chance to draft Conner Bedard. Bedard’s name will instead be called at the June 28 draft by the Chicago Blackhawks, a team that covered up a sexual assault and wears a jersey with a logo many call racist. But we’re not bitter.
TUESDAY 9: TRUMP IS NOT A RAPIST?
A jury determined, however, that the lumbering, spray-tanned flesh-glob and former U.S. president sexually did sexually abuse writer Jean Carroll in 1996. Trump has been ordered to pay Carroll $5 million in damages. Good. ■
