A peek inside the mind of a film critic in real time. Readers discretion is advised.

  • There’s a lot of good will towards the 1990 version of The Witches. Completely out of his element, director Nicolas Roeg (Don’t Look Now) came up with creative solutions to the challenges of adapting the Roald Dahl classic. Chief among them, dudes playing witches (now, not PC).
  • Chris Rock’s narration (as the adult version of the protagonist) makes this movie feel like a very special episode of Everybody Hates Chris.
  • Octavia Spencer as the grandma is the one casting decision that’s clearly an improvement over the Roeg adaptation. As the witch-savvy healer, Spencer has agency and her charisma looms large throughout the movie.
  • The good thing about Warner being behind The Witches revamp is the top tier Motown soundtrack.
  • As the Grand High Witch/main nemesis, Anne Hathaway vamps it up, but lacks the casual cruelty of Anjelica Huston. The world needs more Anjelica Huston movies.
  • In turn, the kids are delightfully normal. Until Hathaway turns them into mice.
  • Of all the Robert Zemeckis movies, the one The Witches resembles the most is Death Becomes Her.
  • On a second thought, The Witches is more like a David Cronenberg romp. Those witches are gnarly. Good on Zemeckis for taking risks and pushing boundaries. Parents may disagree.
  • Speaking of which, Anne Hathaway issued an apology for the depiction of physical deformities as trademarks of evildoers. Did anyone think this was a true-to-life representation? This may be more of a Roald Dahl problem.
  • I would watch a movie about dueling concierges Stanley Tucci (1990’s Roald Dahl’s The Witches) and Rowan Atkinson (1990’s The Witches).
  • The top half of the movie is stronger than the latter.
  • Between chocolate addicts Augustus Gloop and Reginald, it seems like Roald Dahl takes issue with portly children.
  • Why a numerologist would build a room 666?
  • The ending is faithful to the book and a departure from the 1990 version. Yet I can’t help thinking the non-Dahl conclusion was better.
  • Alfonso Cuarón is a producer and Guillermo del Toro is a co-writer. The movie offers zero clues of their involvement outside the credits.
  • The controversy has been blown up out of proportion. The Witches is reasonably entertaining. But there’s something to be said about taking creative licences when adapting a book. Two and a half prairie dogs (out of five).

Roald Dahl’s The Witches opens Christmas Day in theatres and VOD.