Queen City Confidential | by Anonymous

I recently discovered your neon orange, no-name cheddar in our work refrigerator. Why are you leaving blocks of Trump Cheese in our office’s fridges? There are so many excellent lunch cheeses out there — old cheddar, havarti, provolone, tasty brie and more. Why couldn’t you leave something like THAT unattended? The cheese YOU abandoned like an unwanted newborn in a Walmart washroom tastes terrible, and I should know because I ate it. Also, it wasn’t terrible. Just not as good as the cheese I like. The point is, I’m sorry I ate your cheese. What choice did I have? It was racist, and had to be stopped.

THE CHEESE STANDS ALONE Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can also waste everyone’s time with a “humourous” rant about lunchroom drama but we’d prefer you didn’t. E-mail your submission to confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and should be properly-aged and NEVER dyed.