Film by Shane “Level Three Dragonborn Rogue” Hnetka
There’s a Tetris movie coming. Yes, Tetris — the old video game where players stack falling blocks. Supposedly it’ll be the first part of a trilogy. How on frigging Earth someone’s going to make not just one, but three, watchable movies out of Tetris is beyond me. I wish them luck.*
*No, I don’t.
Blu Movie Decade
Sony’s Blu-ray first appeared on June 20, 2006, launching the 21st century’s first great home video format war. An upgrade from DVDs, Blu-ray went up against Toshiba’s HD-DVD, and chaos reigned in store aisles as the two formats battling for dominance. Some movie studios released movies on both formats, others signed exclusive agreements with one, and regular movie fans were confused and frustrated.
The duel ended when Warner Brothers — which had been releasing movies on both formats — picked Blu-ray. That move quickly killed HD-DVD and we had a winner.
While Blu-ray has done pretty well for itself over the last decade there’s now a new format: Ultra HD Blu-ray. At the same time, the old standard-definition DVDs are still around, especially in stores like Wal-Mart. It’s hard to say what home video will be like in another 10 years. We could all be watching movies in virtual reality by then.
Rolling For Initiative
Warner Bros. wants to make a new Dungeons & Dragons movie. The last attempt to bring the famous game to the screen was a 2000 catastrophe that starred Jeremy Irons as a hammy bad guy. Despite that film sucking (and bombing), there were two crappy sequels — one for TV and one direct to video.
Despite the sketchy history, a D&D film could be great. Warner reportedly favours a Guardians Of The Galaxy-style romp, which sounds more agreeable than the grim style that studio usually goes with for its genre properties (see: Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice). The movie won’t be out for a while — maybe a long while, since the last fantasy film to hit theatres, Warcraft, didn’t do too well.
I’m not too sure about the director they’ve hired. Rob Letterman’s last two movies, Gulliver’s Travels and Goosebumps, weren’t very good. Also, they both starred Jack Black.
Hopefully Black won’t be in Dungeons & Dragons. The last thing the world needs is Jack Black playing a farting dwarf.
Shane Hnetka is a Saskatchewan film and comic book nerd.
