QUEEN CITY CONFIDENTIAL by Anonymous
It’s a lovely surprise to be served with a lawsuit first thing in the morning. It has never happened to me before, but now that it has, I have to say it’s everything I would’ve imagined (if I’d ever imagined getting sued). The best part: the cheerless swamp-man hired to ambush me with papers. Reeking of sardines and rotting grass tossed with chewing tobacco in a cancerous salad, he was a truly unforgettable specimen. The unique fragrances wafting from the pits in his abscessed, half-open mouth like swamp gas over a sad peat bog is a memory I’ll always treasure. Thank you, horrible fish man. I’ll never forget your pale, spotted and glistening visage.
EVERYONE NEEDS A JOB Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail your submission to firstname.lastname@example.org (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be protected by the proper rituals, seals and invocations, and submitted at precisely the correct astrological hour at 100-200 words in length.