It’s a lovely surprise to be served with a lawsuit first thing in the morning. It has never happened to me before, but now that it has, I have to say it’s everything I would’ve imagined (if I’d ever imagined getting sued). The best part: the cheerless swamp-man hired to ambush me with papers. Reeking of sardines and rotting grass tossed with chewing tobacco in a cancerous salad, he was a truly unforgettable specimen. The unique fragrances wafting from the pits in his abscessed, half-open mouth like swamp gas over a sad peat bog is a memory I’ll always treasure. Thank you, horrible fish man. I’ll never forget your pale, spotted and glistening visage.

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