tomtoonEar Constituents,

I have some ifficult an istressing news to share with you. Recently my octor sat me own an share some terrible news with me: I can no longer pronounce the fourth letter of the alphabet. After my recent ebacle in which left-wingers an other “B” category folks accuse me of calling NP caniate Karen Pury an “NP whore”, many of you presume I was just a gargantuan ick.

But let me assure you: nothing coul be further from the truth. I was calling her an “NP hore.”

I may have many eficiencies, incluing (but not limite to) my ress sense, my politics an my unfortunate ivision of people into “A” an “B” categories, but I recognize an NP hore when I see one. An I insist that she is absolutely a hore, which Wikipeia efines as “a Turkic-Mongol state establishe in the 1240s.”

See, just a neutral an accurate escription of Ms. Pury.

It’s also possible that I may have calle Karen Pury a “hoar,” which is that elightful winter frost that encases leafless boughs an transforms munane street scenes into beautiful winter wonerlans. Why just the other ay I was strolling own the roa with my wife iane an couln’t help but look forwar to the month of ecember, when the trees come alive with hoar.

“iane,” I sai, “soon we will be totally surroune by hoar.” She just close her eyes an acknowlege my wors with a near-imperceptible shake of her hea, which has been her only means of communicating with me for about the last 15 years.

I hope this clears things up.

Tom Lukiwski
MP, Moose Jaw—Lake Centre—Lanigan