Dear precious coworkers: really, would it kill you to help tidy up the coffee room or wash the office dishes once in a while? What about taking home — or tossing — your half-eaten spaghetti that’s still taking up precious space in the office fridge after two months? And that paper towel or orange peel that missed the garbage can by a mere two inches — yup, that’s YOUR job to pick it up. Surely, on occasion, you could take two minutes and make some fresh coffee to replace the half cup of scorched crap that’s sitting in the pot? And even though you often loudly proclaim your inability to bake, you guys are the first to sample the assorted delicious treats someone else generously brought to the office. This might come as a surprise to you, but did you know there are bakeries and grocery stores in this city that actually allow YOU to purchase baked goods to bring to the office? Well, you know now — and a good thing too because it’s LONG PAST being YOUR turn.

And, next time you’re signing an office birthday card or lining up for a slice of celebratory cake, maybe toss in a couple bucks to help with the cause instead of always thinking someone else will take care of it. Maybe you think we don’t notice but you’re wrong — and YOU need to step up your game before your office mates start throwing more than virtual daggers at you. /Anonymous

AND STOP TURNING THIS PLACE INTO A FRUIT FLY CONVENTION, MR. BANANA-PEEL-IN-THE-GARBAGE Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends, foes and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail submissions to confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words because two-sentence QCCs don’t fill up the space. We’ve seen you cram a novella of ranting into a Facebook post; you can figure out how to fill out a QCC submission. We believe in you!