CROOKS ARE STUPID To the jackass who stole the new boxed Alpine stereo from our garage: you left the hook-up wires. Good luck installing it without those. Why don’t you come on over and ask for them — I dare you. /Anonymous

I’M STILL ALIVE To the person who knocked on my car window: I was having a short nap because I had a headache and the painkiller wasn’t working, but aside from that I was fine. But if I had been sick, you might’ve saved my life. Thanks for checking on me! You’re a good citizen. /Anonymous

PARKING PROBLEMS Why do so many parking lots have steep turns leading into them? If you’re not driving a truck you bottom out and damage your car. Also, how many lanes is South Albert? Two? Three? Seems like two and a half. Regina is stupid. /Anonymous

RANTS IN YOUR PANTS? Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share their petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about friends and family. You can say nice things too. E-mail your submission to confidential@prairiedogmag.com (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions will ideally be 100-200 words and must include hook-up wires, Advil and a clear demarcation of driving lines.