QUEEN CITY CONFIDENTIAL by Anonymous
When you slowed down and pulled into the middle of the road to avoid ducks, you probably didn’t realize there were cars behind you. After all, it was a busy Saturday afternoon in July — how could you possibly anticipate there’d be other vehicles on the highway to Regina Beach?
But seriously: when I pulled around you, honking my horn and giving you the finger, I hoped you’d realize I was trying to remind you of the fatal 2010 Quebec crash that left two people dead — killed because some tool stopped to let ducks cross the road. But I realized you were completely out to lunch when you tailgated my car and then passed me and hit your brakes. The icing on your crazy cake? When you followed me around town, apparently trying to be intimidate me with your aging grey Echo and matching visage.
In the immortal words of Clark W. Griswold: “Eat my road grit, liver lips.” Get a life, get a grip and go to hell. /Anonymous
I’M RHYMING ALL THE DUCKS IN YOUR GENERAL DIRECTION Queen City Confidential is an open forum for Prairie Dog readers to anonymously share petty rants, workplace gripes, romantic woes and complaints about other drivers. You can say nice things too. E-mail submissions to firstname.lastname@example.org (type CONFIDENTIAL in the subject field). Change everyone’s names and identifying details. Submissions must be 100-200 words and must not contain waterfowl language.